I believe I am here because of my parents’ inability to plan and execute well. They just continued having children and placed their hopes on God, believing He would take care of us. I don’t think I even know who I am anymore. It’s more like a task to be alive than something one is willing to do.

If only our parents had been more intentional and responsible about reproduction rather than treading the path of religious dogma, especially having children with no provision and relying on the blind hope that “children are blessings and the giver will care for them.” Most psychological traumas and societal problems would have been prevented.

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More often than not, I get so pissed at my parents for having kids recklessly. We grew up in pure poverty and scarcity, to the point that when I see people living in abundance, I wonder if it’s the same force that pushed us all into the universe.

The last time I received parental help was when I was just 18 years old. At that age, after SHS, I had to become my own parent before I had even finished being a child. This also included fulfilling my ambition of having a tertiary education. I worked to give my parents and my guardian, who was accommodating me here in Accra, at least a bite of my “nothing-to-write-home-about” salary, fed myself, and saved every month. Later, I got a job that helped me save enough to enrol myself in the university.

Sadly, I have to be there for my siblings even when I can barely be there for myself. All this while, I thought the universe would be gracious to me for being responsible and not messing around for survival, but it looks like Bobrisky was right when he said, ‘Good girl, no dey pay.’

I spent the whole of last year and this year attending interviews with no better outcome. Either I get the job with a very low remuneration, or I get denied because of my location. My rent will expire before the year ends, and I just don’t know what to do.

The man I met and thought I had finally found a shoulder to lean on decided to be another weapon formed against me. I was so blinded by love that I actually proposed a joint account. Had I had a glimpse into the future, I would have been selfish.

I see all these debates about single mothers, but no one talks about what single fathers equally put women through. He successfully made me a single mother of one, just like his first two victims, and now he has moved on to a much older woman. I guess he’s retired from turning women into baby makers.

If there’s a human representation of narcissism, he is gloriously representing it pretty well.

Is There A Man Out There Who Doesn’t Cheat?

At this point, I’m resolute. I don’t think it is compulsory to have kids. If I had known what I know now, I wouldn’t have allowed an innocent child into this mess I call my life. But I’m hoping that the universe befriends me soon and extends its kindness towards me too, especially for the sake of this child. She needs to be nurtured in a safe and secure environment.

— RAINA

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