About a week ago, I met a lady in town when I went to take delivery of a package that had been sent to me. We spoke briefly, exchanged numbers, and two days later, I called her. The conversation went well enough that we agreed to go out together over the weekend.

On Saturday, I got ready and drove to pick her up. She was chatty, and we spoke a lot in the car. There was not even one moment of awkwardness. I actually asked myself where she had been all this while, my whole life.

Because I wanted us to relax, have a good time and have no pressure anywhere, I took her to a very popular joint to have a drink, talk and get to know each other better.

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We sat down, and she just went quiet on me.

I asked questions that probably deserved long answers, but she would say one or two words and shut it. Aside from that, she was visibly tense. She ordered a malt, and it arrived after close to 30 minutes. You could hear a pin drop. We sat there with virtually no meaningful conversation. It was obvious that something was bothering her.

I didn’t like how things were going, so I suggested taking her home. On our way home, I still pushed to find out what was bothering her. She was very tough to break through, but I managed to coax her into telling me the problem.

She works at a parcel delivery centre, which was where I met her. According to her, she had given out the wrong package to someone. The actual recipient subsequently came to collect the parcel, only to discover that somebody else had already taken it. The matter had apparently been reported, and she had been surcharged GH¢3,200 for the loss.

Now, here is where things became interesting for me.

She didn’t ask me for the money, but then why was she telling me?

I couldn’t shake the feeling that the conversation was somehow leading towards me offering to pay the GH¢3,200.

Perhaps I am being overly suspicious. Perhaps her story is very true. But I have only known this woman for about a week. That was our first outing. We are not in a relationship. We didn’t even know each other like that.

So naturally, questions started running through my mind.

Why tell me this on our first date?

Was she expecting me to offer to pay the money?

Was the entire outing somehow designed to create an opportunity to present the problem to me?

And most importantly, how do I know if it is true or not? Is it a genuine problem or a scam?

You meet someone, exchange numbers, have a few good conversations and decide to go out. Before you have even established whether there is chemistry, you can already find yourself listening to stories about rent arrears, hospital bills, family emergencies, lost phones, school fees, debts, business problems or workplace surcharges.

I have heard countless stories about people deliberately exploiting the generosity of strangers, and that has made many of us suspicious when it comes to these things.

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That is how some men start wondering whether a woman really likes them or sees them as a potential financial solution. On the other side too, some women start wondering whether a man’s interest is genuine or whether he wants something from them. Both sides are often walking into relationships carrying the experiences and disappointments of previous encounters.

For me, the lesson from this particular experience is simple: don’t allow sympathy to override common sense.

If someone you have known for only a few days suddenly presents you with a GH¢3,200 financial problem, you don’t have to become their financier just because you are trying to make a good impression.

— Kobby

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