I broke up with my ex three years ago. He asked my friend, Erica, who didn’t know the reason why we broke up, to come and beg on his behalf. I told her to stay out of our issue because it was bigger than she could imagine. Gradually, my ex and I got to a place where we agreed that it was best not to come back together.
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Three years later, my friend Erica is here asking me if she could date my ex. According to her, they’ve been friends since we broke up, but nothing has happened between them. She said, my ex proposed to her several months ago, but because she didn’t know how I would feel about it, she kept pushing him away until they got to a place where they had to make a decision.
We have been distant for a while now, Erica and I. I’m working in a different city. We talk once in a while, but I would still call her a friend. I asked her, “Be honest with me. Have you had anything to do with him?” She shook her head.
I said, “If you’ve already slept with him, I swear I will let you continue with no hard feelings whatsoever.”
She insisted nothing had happened between them, and she could swear by the name of her hometown gods. “Then don’t date him. Not because I haven’t moved on, but for your own safety.”
Then I asked her if my ex knew she was coming to consult me. She said my ex had told her not to mention it to me. I said, “That’s all you need to stay away from that guy. He’s up to no good.”
We had this conversation a week ago. She hasn’t called back, and I don’t know if she will listen to me.
My ex and I broke up because I tested positive for HIV. I was so sure he gave it to me, but when I told him about it, it turned into a huge fight and accusations. When he also tested positive, he called me a whore and blamed me for bringing doom to his life.
Later, when he calmed down, he wanted us to get back together, saying we both had it, so it would be best for us to stay together. By that time, I had decided to do life alone and concentrate on my own healing rather than take him along.
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Erica doesn’t know this. And I don’t even know if that guy has been consistent with his medication to the extent that he can’t transmit the virus. It’s the reason I told her to stay away if she hadn’t had anything to do with him. But do you think, as a friend, I should go all out and tell her the truth to protect her?
If I tell her, then it means she will automatically know my HIV status, and that’s what I’m trying to prevent. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
—Sika
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You’ve GOT to tell her! Especially since she came back to ask you. You boyfriend is unscrupulous. He shouldn’t be allowed to go around spreading this evil. Even if she knows your status, she’ll forever be grateful to you.
Yes, i agree with George, you need to tell her about it
It’s good you tell her but how can you be sure she won’t go and be spreading the information like BBC?
You should tell her as your friend since she came to ask, tell her you broke up because he is HIV positive. She doesnt need further explanation
Just tell her to stay away.. don’t tell her the real reason.. for her own good..
She will definitely tell the whole word that you have the virus.. so for your own good don’t tell her..
If you were in her shoes would you want to know? Sometimes it’s better to save a life than let someone else fall into a pit that you could have prevented
Since she came to you, you owe it to tell her as a friend because since she’s quite interested in your ex she will still find out the truth sooner or later and she will forever detest you if she falls victim.
Tell her that for her own safety and peace of mind, she shouldn’t have any marital relationship with him she loves her life.
Don’t tell her the reason. She could use against you one day