The only thing I knew about him was his name. I didn’t take him seriously when he introduced himself to me. I would have forgotten his name had it not been the fact that he had the same name as my brother. I told him, “My brother is Perry too. You’re the next Perry I’ve met. Good to meet you.” We shook hands, smiled and went our separate ways. After the program when I got home, I had a call. He introduced himself as Perry. I asked, “Perry? The guy I met a while ago? How did you get my number?”

He got my number through a mutual friend. After he called, the mutual friend also called to tell me she had given my number out to a friend. I asked her, “Did he tell you why he took my number from you?” She answered, “No he didn’t, but I think he likes you. He had a lot to say about you and it was all centred around your personality. He’s awed about you. He’s a nice guy so try and be nice to him.” 

He liked me and it showed from the very first day he called. The questions he asked sounded like a man who wants to know a lady he wants to carry away. “What’s your hobby? Do you like going out? Can we go out one of these days? Do you have a boyfriend? I have your brother’s name, so if nothing at all, you can take me as a brother.” 

Those lines of questions and he asked them in different ways anytime he called. I wasn’t thinking about a relationship. I was in one though It was a relationship at the dying stage. I had dated the guy for three years and over the years everything had changed. He wasn’t calling like he used to. We could go for days without talking to each other and he was fine. He made excuses when we had to meet. We could plan an outing and would call at the 11th hour to tell me he was no longer going. I knew the relationship was dead but sometimes you hold on for a while, hoping things will change while knowing very well that nothing will change. 

I was at that stage, waiting for him to tell me it was over or to get fed up and walk away. That was why I wasn’t thinking about relationships. The one I was in wasn’t serving me well so anytime Perry brought out the issue of a date, I brushed it aside. One evening I asked him, “So we go out, have dinner and then what?” He answered, “And then nothing. You’ll go home and I’ll go home too. The next day, life will go on as usual.” I gave it deeper thought than I’d given it since day one. I felt  I should just go on a date with him so he will stop worrying me. 

It was a Friday night, he named the place and I told him, “I will be there by 8pm. I hope it’s alright?” He answered, “That’s alright. I’ll be there waiting for you.” 

Both of us were seated when the waitress brought the menu. He had been there before so it looked like he knew his way around the menu. He ordered without going through it. I went through it and still couldn’t decide. It’s a hobby. I’ve never been able to order from a menu without help. I’ll ask, “What’s your favourite food on the menu?” The waitress will go through it with me and in the end, choose for me. I did the same thing with him. I asked, “What do you think I’ll enjoy on the menu?” He took it from my hand, went through it with me and later chose one for me. The food came and it was nice. We talked, and had a lot of laughs until the night was old. The waitress brought the bill, GHC297 and he paid. 

When we stepped out of the restaurant, he held my hand and he squeezed it tightly. I knew what was coming. He started, “I know you told me that you have a boyfriend but I can’t stop thinking about you. From day one to this point you’ve always been on my mind. Can’t you do something about it? Does he love you the way I do? I won’t waste your time, trust me. I’ll do everything to make you happy and it’s a promise.” 

We had a beautiful night and I wished I didn’t have to say no to him but I couldn’t say yes too. My boyfriend wasn’t good for me but that wasn’t a reason enough to jump into a new relationship. I pondered over what he said for a while and told him, “I’m still in a relationship. It’s not going the way it should but I’m hopeful things will be alright. Can’t we be friends? You’re kind, I know. You want more than I can give and that saddens my heart. No one knows the future but we can only hope. Let’s wait and see, anything at all can happen.”

We went quiet again, he nodded his head and said, “No problem, let’s see what happens.” 

I ordered an Uber and was waiting for it. He was there with me. He asked, “Is it far from here?” I answered, “Seven minutes away. You can go if you want to. I’ll be fine.” He hesitated a bit and said, “Errrrm, I’ve used everything on me to pay the bill. I have nothing left in my wallet. Can you give me Ghc150? I’ll send you Momo when I get home.”

READ ALSO: I Saw The Signs Clearly Written On The Wall But I Decided To Be Blinded By Love

 I was surprised at first but I went through my purse and gave him the money. After taking the money, he left me there to wait for the Uber all alone. I was thinking about it; “What just happened? Didn’t he know that was all he had when he was paying for the bill? He didn’t come prepared? What just happened?” 

I couldn’t stop thinking about it until I got home. I was waiting for his call but that call never came until I sent him a message; “I hope you’re home safely?” He sent a message in the morning telling me he was too tired to call when he got home. I said it was OK and then he started talking about his proposal again, urging me to think about it and give him a positive answer. I told him, “It was nice meeting you. We’ll talk.” To me, that was the end of the road for us. I drew the curtains on whatever we had going on, especially when he never made mention of the momo he promised to send. I knew it was international, he did that only to collect half of the bill he paid that night and that was alright.

We could have discussed it and I wouldn’t have had any problem splitting. After all, I was the one who enjoyed the meal so what was wrong with it if I paid? He was silent about it and even paid for it without complaining only for him to use another dubious way to extract the half amount from me. True Men don’t do that, especially a man who wants you to be his girlfriend. 

As I write this, he keeps sending me messages and calling me every now and then asking me about his proposal. I’ve told him my mind, “It’s not going to be possible,”  but somehow, something gives him hope that I might say yes to him at some point. I don’t know what gives him that hope but I want to tell him that I know what he did. I want to put it to him that he took that amount from me just to split the bill with me. I don’t know if it’s a good idea and I don’t know if that will make him stay away from me for good. 

—Lovelace

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Please email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

*****