I met a man online. His name is Grey, like the colour grey. He is German. I met him one day while absentmindedly scrolling through my messages. Everything felt like a dream. Both of us needed a friend, so we became that friend for each other.

After a few days of chatting almost every day, sharing our days and our life stories with each other, I had no choice but to believe I was part of the one percent of people who find the love of their life online. He was doing well financially, he was caring, and he made me feel loved.

 

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After months of talking, he came to Ghana to meet me, and I was extremely happy because I my prayers had been answered.

At that time, I was working with a private roofing company, earning about GH₵2,500 a month. Because of the love and promises Grey gave me, I decided to leave my job so I could support him and build a future together.

As time went on, our relationship became serious. He came to see my family and shared his plans for me with them. We left my family’s house excited, already making plans to get married.  I was going to marry the love of my life.

I got pregnant during that time, and I lost the baby. We cried and mourned together. Around the same period, his own plans were also falling apart. We carried the weight of everything together and cried through it all.

Because of the financial challenges he was facing and the fact that he still had to finish his education, he travelled back. Before leaving, he filled my ears with promises.

“I will come back and marry you. We will have another child and start our life together.”

He also told me he would think about me till he returned. I made my own promises to him too.

But that was where everything started changing.

I don’t know if distance can do that to a person, but it turned him into someone I barely recognised. He became insecure and started accusing me of cheating. He would call my family and friends, telling them things about my past and accusing me of being involved with other men.

I have done some things, things I cannot even say here, things my family does not even know about. I told him everything wholeheartedly. Why? Because relationships thrive in an honest environment, and that was the kind of relationship I was trying to build.

Instead, he created the impression that I was still trapped in those sins.

Then Grey went online and met another woman. Her name is Atina. He came to tell me he had finally found peace and joy, everything a man could ever want in a woman. He even told me, “I want to spend the rest of my life with her.”

He said that when he returned to Ghana, he was coming to marry her, not me. He even asked me to return the drinks and the items we had already bought for our wedding.

All hell broke loose after that, but strangely, it did not change how I felt about him.

Sometimes love is like that. You keep holding on even when it is bleeding you, hoping that one day, if victory ever comes, you will wear those scars as proof of how you loved.

Atina is now pregnant for Grey. He came to Ghana and got her pregnant.

Do you know that I was even taking German language classes so I could surprise him? I wanted him to see how committed I was to our future together. That was when everything between us still felt good.

Today, I am also pregnant, and Grey is responsible.

He came back into my life and told me he does not love Atina the way he loves me. He said he cares about her, but not as much as he loves and desires me.

It was easy to fall back into his arms because I never stopped loving him.

Today, Grey has chosen to stay with Atina, even though both of us are carrying his children.

Today, I feel so out of touch with myself. I have no job anymore, and the hope I once had for the future now feels like it is getting farther away and darker than before. I honestly do not know what to do with myself.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

It wasn’t supposed to end like this, because the story I believed in was meant to be a happy ever after with Grey, a future that felt safe and certain and full of light. I don’t know what to do with myself, and that is exactly why I am here, searching for something I can’t quite name. What should I do?

Should I continue fighting for the love I believed in, or should I let go and focus on rebuilding my life?

Please share your honest advice.

— Jessica
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