I like marriage. I love marriage, the idea of it, the beauty of it, the joy of knowing you have someone who will always be there for you. I love the thought of building a home with someone. And children? I love them. I want them.Then, I met a man who wanted to marry me. We were still talking.

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We met at a wedding. Throughout the wedding, I noticed him looking at me. When we got to the reception, he came to sit beside me and started a conversation. By the time the day ended, we had talked about love, marriage, and everything that happened during the reception.

Before we left for our homes, we exchanged numbers. What started as a conversation at a wedding turned into months of talking and getting to know each other.

Kwesi proposed that we marry as soon as possible. The marriage Kwesi was describing to me was everything I had wanted since I was a child. It was the kind of love and partnership I had always seen around me, especially from my uncles and aunties. I wanted that kind of home for myself.

But at the same time, I was trying to figure out my own life. I was searching for jobs and applying for graduate programmes. I told myself, if a job came, I would take it. If I got accepted into the master’s programme, I would carry that responsibility too and find a way to make everything work.

But if you took a good look at me at that time, you would see someone who was clueless, tired, and uncertain.

I did not feel like I had what it took to be a wife or a mother. I felt like I had nothing to my name yet. I kept asking myself, why should I rush into marriage when I was still trying to build myself?

Kwesi insisted that we could do it together. He believed marriage was not something that would stop me from achieving my dreams. He did everything he could to convince me.

But I let him go.

It was one of the most painful decisions I have ever made. I was 24 years old, and my dream had always been to get married at 25.

A year later, Kwesi married another woman.

I saw the pictures online. I saw them holding hands. I saw him promise to love her in sickness and in health, through the good and the difficult times.

And the truth is, he did not lie when he told me he wanted to make my life easier and support me.

I see his wife sometimes, and I see her living the same life he once described to me. He built his life, and she is living the dream I once imagined for myself.

Not because I am jealous of her. But, I genuinely wish I was her.

But sometimes I sit and think, maybe I could have had that marriage and still achieved my dreams. Maybe I could have continued my education, built my career, and still had a loving partner beside me.

Today, I have my dream job. I have completed my education.

But I am still waiting for marriage.

And the dating scene has not been easy. Sometimes it feels like people no longer take love seriously. Some people come into your life and make you question their intentions. Some try to take you for granted.

That is when the regret comes.

I regret letting that opportunity pass me by. Every day, I wonder if that was the moment I lost something special.

So, if I could speak to my 23-year-old self, I would tell her this:

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Seek Godly counsel. Listen to the good people in your corner. Pay attention to the wisdom of those who genuinely love you. Maybe if I had done that, I would have been his wife today.

But above everything, listen to yourself. Listen to your instincts. And if you have a good man, do not let him go because of fear. Talk through your worries. Share your fears with him. Sometimes the person you are afraid will hold you back is actually the person who is willing to help you move forward.

—Diana
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