My girlfriend and I have been dating for about two years and some months now. Before love came into the picture, we were very good friends. We grew up together, come from the same town, attended the same basic schools, and remained close even after SHS. Over the years, our friendship only became stronger until we eventually fell in love.

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My girlfriend is very indecisive and heavily influenced by her siblings. It is always, “My brother said this,” or, “My sister said that.” She has been living with them ever since we completed SHS. They provide for her because she is currently unemployed, but in return, she has somehow become the maid of the house. She cooks, washes, cleans, and practically runs the home.

A few years ago, her sister gave birth and asked her to come and help with the baby. She stayed there for two years. She was the one waking up whenever the baby cried, bathing the child, feeding her, and taking care of almost everything. When it was all over, they gave her GH₵2,000.

I remember her calling me that day, furious.
“If the baby cried, I was the one who picked her up. I bathed her, fed her, did everything for her, only to be given this small money.”

She complained bitterly and even swore she would never return there again. Only for her to return to that same place after she left a job because it did not pay well and the working conditions were poor..

Our relationship has been long-distance from the very beginning, something I made clear I was never comfortable with. I am the kind of man who likes seeing his woman often. Call me clingy if you want, but that is who I am. I honestly did not think I could survive a long-distance relationship, but I loved her enough to give it a shot.

In the two years we have been together, we have met a few times.

Everything else has been phone calls and video calls. She lives in the Volta Region while I am in Accra. The journey between us is about five hours, depending on traffic.

I have always believed that some conversations should happen face to face. Difficult conversations about the future, resolving conflicts, or deciding where a relationship is heading deserve more than a poor phone connection. I have never been against talking over the phone, but she always prefers that every serious conversation happens that way, even when I suggest we meet.

Recently, she told me she wanted to learn a trade. I actually supported the idea until I found out the place she wanted to go was even farther away than where she currently lives.

That was my breaking point.

I already struggle to see you because of the distance. Now you want to move even farther away to a place where the network may even be worse?

That was when I decided I wanted out. She refused to accept the breakup and insisted we meet in person before ending things. She had the opportunity to come to Accra and failed to show up. Later, she sent a long text explaining why, full of very unnecessary excuses.

I have tried doing this long-distance relationship for two years. Love is the only reason I stayed this long, but that love has gradually faded. I feel like I have reached the end.

The part that makes this so difficult is that she has been there for me in ways very few people ever have. When I was seriously ill, lying on my sick bed, too weak to even get myself a glass of water, she was there.

She held my hand when I needed to use the washroom. She cleaned after me without complaining. She walked me to the doctor’s office when I could barely stand and supported me until I could walk properly again.

She is caring. She is compassionate. She has seen me at my weakest.

That is why I feel terrible walking away from someone who loved me so selflessly during one of the darkest moments of my life.

These past few weeks have been difficult. She has been crying, sending long messages, begging me to reconsider and asking what she has done to deserve this.

But I also feel like time is moving. Marriage. Children. Building a home.

She just does not seem ready for any of it. She hesitates over almost every major decision. She seems comfortable remaining exactly where she is, even when everyone else can see she deserves more.

She will be turning 30 this year. The Big 30. If anything, I thought she would be more concerned about creating a direction for her own life. Instead, I am the one constantly worrying about her future, her complacency, and where all of this is leading.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

Am I wrong for doing this to her? Am I being too selfish and hard on her? Should I actually reconsider and try again with her? Or is this me accepting that love alone is not enough to build the kind of marriage and future I want?

—Prince

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