My parents couldn’t pay for my university education, so they sent me to live with my aunt in the city to help with her business. While living with my aunt, I met this married man who came around very often and later told me he came often because of me.

He took my number, and very soon he was taking me to places I could only dream of. He was mature, maybe a little younger than my dad. I liked the maturity he brought into my life and the direction he gave me. He agreed to sponsor my education and asked me to tell my parents that I had won a fully paid scholarship.

I told my aunt first, and she didn’t believe me. I called my parents and told them, and they asked me to come home. I explained everything to them, assuring them that they were not going to pay anything for the entire period I would be in school.

So they agreed for me to start, and for the next four years, this man catered for everything I needed, including renting a place for me and linking me with places where I could do my internship.

In my mind, he was married, and the relationship we had didn’t have a future, but it was hard for me to start a conversation in that direction, so I waited for the right time to have that conversation. And then his wife died.

It wasn’t even up to a week later when this man told me he was going to marry me after he was able to bury his wife and go through all the traditional processes. My mind wasn’t on marriage. His age is a problem. I don’t think my parents would even entertain the idea of me marrying this man.

His wife is still in the morgue, but he spends the night with me planning our marriage a year from now. He wants me to introduce him to my parents or at least start talking about him to them. I haven’t done any of that because my heart isn’t in the marriage thing.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

I will complete my national service this year, and his target is to marry me afterward. What do you suggest I do to manage this man’s expectations? Should I tell him I won’t marry him so he would mourn the death of his wife with this heartbreak from me? Should I wait until all is said and done? Should I simply disappear and cut contact? I’m confused.

—Benice

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