When my dad died three years ago, my elder sister moved my mom abroad to live with her. We lived in a huge four-bedroom house, and when my mom moved, the whole house was left to me. I wanted to rent it out and get myself a small place to rent, but my mom had her things in the house and, for sentimental reasons, I decided against it.

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Then I met George, a man who had his future written in his palms. He knew the next step from here right from the start. When we met, he talked about marriage. To be honest, when my dad died and my mom moved, I became very lonely, so the talk of marriage excited me right from the start.

I loved him and wanted to do life with him right from the word go, so the day he was taking me home to meet his parents, I fasted. I prayed his parents wouldn’t have anything wrong to say about me. His dad saw me and smiled. His mom followed with a handshake and then a hug.

A year after dating, we were getting ready to get married when the issue of where we would live after marriage came up. I told him I didn’t have any problem if he moved in with me. “My mom will be very happy. It will mean this house will never be left empty.”

But George shook his head. He said, “No, a man should provide the home, not the woman. We’ll get a new place where we can start a life of our own.”

I was surprised, to be honest. He spent weekends with me more often than not. There was even a time he lived for over a month in the same house with me, and he always talked about how spacious the house was.

Well, I didn’t argue. I told him I would wait and see where he took us. My mom wanted to talk to him and convince him to move in with me, but I told her to leave that decision to him and not interfere.

After marriage, we got a two-bedroom house far from town and also far from where we both worked. I kicked against it. I told him we should get something close to town to make life easier for us. He said accommodation in town was very expensive, so we should take the place as it was. By the time I realized it, he had paid half of the rent to the landlord, and he had given the man a date we would move in.

I didn’t move in with him. He came around talking plenty, angry that I was not following his lead. I felt like I had no option, so I had to go. The very day I moved in, he said, “We are left to pay half of the rent for this place. I was waiting for you so we could decide what to do.”

I asked what he wanted me to do, and he said he was expecting me to pay the rest of the money. I shook my head. “Why didn’t you tell me right from the start so I could look for money?”

He sat and looked into my eyes as if he had a great answer to give me. He said, “You’ve left that house now. Rent it out. We can raise a lot of money and use it to pay the rent here. It’s as simple as that.”

“You brought me here,” I said. “You said a man should provide the home so provide and leave me out of it.”

He didn’t pay. Because he had paid for a year when the landlord wanted a two-year rent, the landlord also didn’t come around to ask for the money. A year later, he increased the rent. By then, I had given my place to an aunt of mine, and she had moved in with her family.

My husband asked for my contribution, and again I said I had nothing to pay. He screamed, “What’s your role in this marriage if you refuse to help me? If you’re doing all this because I asked you to leave your parents’ home, then you can go back.”

One morning, the landlord came in with another person. He said, “Someone wants to see the place.”

We stood aside as the landlord went into our home with a stranger, showing him around the house and telling him we were moving, so he shouldn’t worry. After showing the person around, he walked out and didn’t say a word to us.

My husband blamed and even insulted me. He said, “We are going to rent a smaller place if this man ejects us from this place, and you’ll follow.”

I didn’t wait for the landlord to come again. I packed my things and went back to my home. My mom’s part of the house was always empty and waiting for me.

He called his parents and reported me. I was happy that a third party was involved. I told his parents everything. “I live alone. The house is mine. It is big enough for the two of us. My mom isn’t coming back unless she’s coming to visit. I don’t see the shame in that.”

His mother sided with me, but his dad told me he would talk to my husband and get back to me.

The next thing I knew, my husband had moved back to his parents’ house. He hasn’t told me about it, and I’m not going to ask about it. Maybe he’s ashamed.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

My contribution to this marriage is a whole house that can lift the burden off us, so if he’s not ready to accept this offer, then I’m not going to pay a penny toward rent.

I still want the marriage to work. I’m not angry. I’m not cutting him off. I call, and he picks up sometimes. Sometimes, he ignores me.

I talk to his mom often. She assures me everything will be fine. If today my husband comes to tell me he wants to move in, I will tell my aunt to move back to where she once lived. If he comes to tell me he has paid fully for a new place, I will pack my things and follow him, but I won’t contribute to rent when I own a house. Never!

—Nana Ama

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