That night, I wasn’t furious, I was just still in a state of shock. I provide for this house, the basic needs and the little luxuries within our means, and I provide them fully. There is a roof over your head, there is a gate outside the house. “Why would you go for a loan?” I asked my wife, “why would you take a loan without my consent,” knowing fully well that if she had told me I would never have allowed it.

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I am one of the one percent of people who don’t like loans, because the interest is unnecessary, and if you do your maths properly you quickly realise how ridiculous and draining the interest becomes when you fail to pay on time. I would scrape the bottom of the chain to raise money before I take a loan. It gives me sleepless nights and it feels as though someone else holds my life in their hands, and then you hear how these loan sharks go wild when you are unable to pay. I don’t like it one bit, and I am very open about it.

That is why she went behind my back, went to the app store, downloaded a savings and loans app, and requested a loan. If the loan was for a business we would have mapped out strategies together, but this loan was for a wedding. My wife’s cousin had a wedding, and a wedding in a home like theirs meant something lavish and expensive, a prove-your-worth kind of thing.

It was all she could talk about for days leading up to the wedding, and I figured it brought back all the giddiness from when we were about to get married so I listened. Besides, when your wife starts talking about something she is passionate about, you listen. If you do not, you are looking for trouble. From the pictures and videos I later saw, it looked like they had the time of their lives.

She said, “I was pressed financially, and I didn’t want to bother you, and that’s why I went for the loan.”

By bedtime, I collected the phone from her to assess what we were going to do about repaying the loan, and to my greatest surprise, it was four hundred thousand naira. That’s equivalent to around three thousand, two hundred Ghana cedis, with interest accumulating as each day passes.

I opened my mouth and couldn’t close it back, because I was trying to understand how she could be so careless with money as big as this.

Part of the money had gone into contributions for the wedding. Some of it was used to buy matching family outfits for the occasion. She also gave some money to help pay for her younger sister’s caesarean section during delivery.

Now, the money is on me to pay, because since we went to the altar and were declared husband and wife we were declared as one too. Her problems became my problems. Her mistakes became mine to carry too.

And honestly, I would rather pay the money and have my bubbly, sweet wife back than watch her walk around like a ghost because of this debt hanging over her head.

In the Bible, Adam shared in the consequences of Eve’s mistake. Whether he should have or not is another discussion entirely, but responsibility found its way to him all the same.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

This is my turn. My wife had just served me one small slice of the suffering an innocent husband can endure because of the decisions of the woman he loves.

—Martin

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