My Boyfriend Left Me Because I Pee So Loud

I’ve never had a guy chase me so intensely as Augustine did right from the moment he had my number. The day I gave him my number, my phone was off. He didn’t believe that was my number because he called right there and it didn’t go through. He asked, “Are you sure this is your number?” I said, “I can’t lie about my contact. If I didn’t want to give it to you, I would have said it instead of lying about it.” He wrote his number on a piece of paper for me and pushed it down my purse.

Later that evening, I saw his line calling. He said, “It’s Augustine. I couldn’t wait to call and talk to you.” I said, “Now you believe it’s my number?” He laughed and said, “Yeah, I didn’t want to lose the opportunity of having your contact. That was why I was very insistent. Forgive me.” I said, “No problem at all. Some women will give you the wrong number so I could understand your concern.”

We talked for almost thirty minutes. He asked questions and I answered. I asked him a few questions and he answered too. He wanted to know what I did for a living and he wanted to know where I lived. When the conversation kept going on and on, he asked me, “What’s your hobby?” That was when I realized he had nothing to say again. I told him, “It’s getting late, can we sleep so we continue tomorrow?”

Ten minutes after I hung up, he sent me a message; “I’m glad to know you and I’m happy we could talk for that long. It only shows that you’re interested in people and that’s beautiful. Sweet dreams. Tomorrow Morning.” I responded, “Sweet dreams too.”

The next morning when I was getting ready for work, I saw his call. We talked. He wished me a good day. In the afternoon, he called. He asked how my day was going. I said, “It’s been good so far. Just going about my work peacefully.” At exactly 5pm, he called again; “Have you closed?” I said, “I’m getting ready to close.” In the evening when I was home, he called. In the night when I was about to sleep, he sent a good night text.

This routine of calls and texts went on for weeks while giving me hints of how he felt about me and how he wanted me to be his girlfriend. I never spoke to those hints. I just ignored him so it wouldn’t become a full-blown conversation. Two months after our first meeting, he asked for a date. I used Corona as an excuse to turn him down. I was at work one day when the security came to tell me that I had a visitor. I went out only to see him standing there, smiling. I smiled back. He said, “You wouldn’t look for me so I passed by to say hi.” I didn’t know what to say. I was surprised and happy at the same time. I said, “You came all the way here to look for me?” He said, “If I don’t come you won’t come so I had no option.”

Right there, we planned our first date. “Saturday, 7pm right?” He asked. I responded, “Saturday, 7pm at Vidae Caffe.”

Saturday, I got there at exactly 7:05pm and he was already seated waiting for me. We sat there for almost three hours, munching on pizza and talking about everything that came to mind. Then he dropped what I was expecting from him; “I like you so much. Since the day I met you, I haven’t had a full night’s sleep without waking up in the middle to think about you. Why don’t you give us a chance?” I said, “I didn’t know you that well and I didn’t know how serious you were about me. It’s been three months and you have proven beyond measure that you want this to happen. Give me two days for your answer.”

The next day, I called him to accept his proposal. He was so happy he couldn’t hold himself up. When I dropped the call, I said a prayer, “God I hope I made the right decision. I hope this works. I only hope this happiness he’s showing never ceases so we can build something that lasts.”

He visited my home. We cooked and ate. He said he was a bad dancer so I should teach him some moves. I did and the fun we had that day was so pure and genuine. I felt the connection and chemistry and it was like something I’d never felt with any guy. That day I wish he would tell me he was sleeping over but just around 8pm, he told me he was leaving. I walked him to the roadside waiting for a taxi. Tens of taxis drove us by and signaled if we were going somewhere but we didn’t want to let each other go. We stood by the roadside for an hour pretending all those taxis were not going his way.

That night, I thought of him and blessed the day I found him.

Weeks later, I went to his house for the fifth time. That night I slept over. I was in the washroom peeing when he said something that I didn’t hear. I asked, “What did you say?” He said, “Is the tap flowing?” I smiled to myself and asked, “When was the last time the tap flowed in this house?” He asked, “Oh so what was that? You were peeing?” I said, “Exactly what I was doing.” He said, “Did you pee standing or what?” I just chuckled. No answer.

The next time I peed, he was there in my room. I was comfortably seated on the WC peeing and enjoying myself when he walked in. I thought he was coming to do something romantic. He looked at me and said, “All this noise for just a simple pee? Can’t you do it silently? I mean like how all women do?” I asked, “Does the sound bother you so much?” He said, “You’re a lady, fine one as such so why would you do that? I’ll take you to a family house and you’ll go and pee like that? I mean how?”

He had said it too often for me to realize he had a problem with that so I decided to change it. Remember what they say about old habits? They die hard so sometimes I forgot myself and did it loudly and freely. Sometimes he talked about it, other times he let it slide.

It’s been four months since we started dating. He wasn’t calling me like he used to. There was no happiness in his voice when we talked. He had become dull and indifferent to the relationship. I thought our love was too new to go through such a phase so I drew his attention to it. He said, “Everything is fine. You worry too much.” I said, “If you have to tell me everything is fine before I know everything is fine then everything is not fine. I have to feel it. I have to know it. I don’t have to be told.”

Nothing changed. I was the one doing the calling every day. I was the one begging to see him while he gave me excuses as to why he couldn’t see me. So, one evening I went to his place without pre-informing him. He was there watching a movie so I joined him. I curled myself around his arm, doing everything to bring his attention to me but it didn’t work. That night when we slept, he barely touched me. I asked him, “Augustine, why do you tell me everything is fine and yet behave like we are fighting? What’s wrong?” He said, “I’ve told you but you won’t believe me. Everything is fine.

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The next morning, I went to the washroom, I forgot myself and let it all out. The sound was going ‘yoooorrrrrr’ when I remembered I was in his house. I tried pulling the brakes, pushing it down slowly so it didn’t make a noise but it was too late. No matter how I did it, the ‘yoooorrrrrr’ sound never ceased. I knew I was in trouble. I stayed in the bath for a while thinking of my defense. Immediately I walked out he said, “You see why things can’t be fine between us?”

I said nothing. I dressed up, picked up my bag, and said goodbye to him.

I decided not to call him if he didn’t call. Three straight days he didn’t call. On the fourth day, I called; “Are we still together?” He said, “I’m thinking about it.” I was like, “Really? Do you have to think about it before you know? Then you better say it. Go ahead and tell me you’ve had what you wanted so you don’t want me again. Go ahead.” He said, “If you can’t change a little thing like the way you pee loudly, then I don’t think you’ll change the bigger ones even if I draw your attention to them. And That scares me.”

“So, it’s about the way I pee?” I asked. He said, “Not only that but the future too. I need assurances that things may change but you’re not doing enough to assure me.”

When I dropped the line that day, I knew that was the end. I knew I wasn’t going to call him again and he wasn’t also going to call so that might as well be the end for us. Minutes after the call, he sent me a message. “I’m sorry about how things have become. I’m really sorry.” I didn’t know what he was apologizing for but I’d already taken the decision that I deserve better.

The reason why I have a better man in my life now it’s because I let that silly guy go. This one I’m with finds it funny anytime I pee. He even teases me about it and because of that, I can be myself around him without thinking about what I need to change. Whenever I entered the washroom, I would hear him screaming “Yoooooorrrr” even before I started peeing. I tell myself, “This is what I deserve. This is the kind of love a girl like me deserves.”

–Veronica A. 

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