I live in my parents’ house but live alone. I’ve been here since this relationship started. He had no problem staying overnight or for the weekend. It’s a three-bedroom house with a huge space. He even celebrated his 30th birthday here and invited his friends. It was all fun and lovely until we started talking about marriage.
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According to him, we should rent out this house and use the money to get a less expensive place. I thought he was making a financial decision until he told me, “I’m not comfortable living in the woman’s house.” I asked why and his explanation was, “Do you want the whole world to know my wife takes care of me and I’m not in charge?”
He has always been in charge in this relationship. I’ve never once suggested I wanted to take his place because of a house. I like a man who leads, and he does that. This house is to our advantage because it’s in a prime area, makes it easy for us to access our workplaces, and is also in a safe environment.
The truth is this: if I leave this house, there’s no way I can rent it out and keep the money to myself. It belongs to me, my siblings, and even my mom since she’s alive. I’m here only because my two other siblings are not living in town. I’ve explained the dynamics to him, but he still insists we should get a place of our own.
When I accept for us to get a place, I have to contribute to rent because in our relationship, we both contribute to make it work.
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I don’t get this, and it’s making me look at him differently. He won’t listen to any explanation apart from the idea that we have to move to a new place.
What do you think is the best way for me to handle this? I won’t move from this house no matter what. We can both live here in peace for as long as we want. Do I have to leave because my man is not comfortable living in a house I own?
—Claudia
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That there is a true gentleman. No self respecting man should move to a lady’s house no matter what.
What happens when you have children then your siblings want to move back in? As you said it’s not your house it is a family house. Rent it out use the proceeds to pay for another then if the Lord wills it buy a pice of land and build your own. But speak to your family first about renting out the house so that it’s a unanimous decision
Seconded. He’s absolutely right. Maybe you’re not quite ready for marriage. For the Bible say you shall leave your parents and become one with ur man.How can a woman say she won’t leave her parents’ house even after marriage? The house you are in, was it your father’s or you maternal grandparents’?
Yes, it would hurt his pride as a man but he has to bear the cost renting a new place
he is a fool, he should have brought it up before marriage and made arrangements for housing since he can’t stay in his in-laws house, this alone shows he’s never going to consider u input in whatever decision he makes, even if u rent out the house, he’s already looking at the house a money making pot for him before long he’ll start using the rent money for his owns plans. he can’t stay in his in-laws house but he can collect the money from renting his in-laws house… pure stupidity
I completely second you Kofi. He can’t stay in his in-laws house, but he can rent it out and use part of the money to rent another house? What kind of stupid pride is that? There’s no problem if he decides that as the head of the family, he can’t stay in a house that his wife’s family owns, but if he feels so strongly about it, then he should shut up and rent a house for his family with his own money like his mates instead of trying to eat his cake and have it.
If he can’t afford to rent a house on his own, then he should keep quiet and thank God for the fact that he has a wife who’s willing to house him.
Kofi you are probably the fo0lish one here for jumping to comment without proper understanding of the thread. They are not yet married.
offensive words are not acceptable here, this is a noble platform where we share, support and learn from others.
The guy is right about renting a place, any dream man will not live in his wife’s family house. I would advice the lady to lease her portion for rent , the rest for the kids and stay with her man
This is not about anything but pride nd also had I know is always blah blah……..
We understand him if he doesn’t want to live in the woman’s family house if the house belonged to the lady alone, maybe you he wouldn’t be insistence on his decision.
But as he is behaving like a man From the 70s, 80s and 90s. He should see it through and rent a place using his own money and then ask you to move in. If he can’t afford to rent a decent place but rather wants you to use your money to support then I think he should shut up for now and wait till he can. He shouldn’t be pressuring you. Please don’t contribute anything, he wants to be the man and lead, then he should do just that and stop trying to cut corners. The real man ideology he is trying to sell us means he shouldn’t be waiting for you to contribute anything,