I’m a family man, living abroad. It’s been four years since I relocated without my wife and kids, and truth be told, I don’t know if I’m overreacting, overthinking, or over-expecting. But this is what my heart has been carrying.
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Usually, the complaint is that partners abroad don’t make time to communicate, that they are always busy. But in my case, it’s the opposite. I make time. I call. I provide. I pay school fees. I pay rent both in the US and in Ghana. Yet despite all this, I often feel like I don’t matter to my wife.
She is very active online, but hardly engages me there. About three months ago, she even told me she was going to hide her WhatsApp last seen from me and she did. It made me feel invisible, unimportant. She later apologized, saying she didn’t know why she did it, but by then, the damage had already been done. To this day, whenever I remember, I ask myself: “Am I really that unimportant to her?”
Here’s how things usually go: we’ll talk in the morning (around 9am my time here in the US), and then she can go the whole day without checking in again. When I bring it up, she says, “but we spoke in the morning.” and that’s after 8 long hours. Sometimes, she only calls because she’s seen that I was online.
Meanwhile, I am always calling and always checking up on her and the kids. I keep hoping she’ll learn and adjust, but it feels like she doesn’t care.
I am hurting every single day.
I express love through provision, consistency, and gifts. I installed Wi-Fi at home so data won’t be an excuse. I ship items every six months for her and the kids. I even factor drinking water into their weekly stipend. Yet, all of this doesn’t seem to mean much to her.
And so, sometimes I wonder: did my wife truly choose me out of love or simply because I was available?
Now, I’ve decided to choose myself and my three kids going forward.
Three Months After Our Breakup, He Got Married
Imagine being alone abroad, carrying all this emotional baggage. My emotions are everywhere, some days I can barely hold them. But one thing is clear: I can’t keep pouring endlessly into someone who doesn’t see or value my love.
—Father
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It is well, do what will make u happy okay.
Our Father, I understand how you feel, I might not b so sure,but I believe 4yrs apart is enough for her to build a daily routine where U have 1 or 2hrs of her talk time.Am sure she loves and appreciate you and all you do, remember she has to take care and oversee the affairs of the home front and children also.My advice is to ensure your family join you soonest and pray for your wife and family.distance in marriage is not a joke
I thought only the bachelors are battling with such situations, my advice is that you have to learn how to be alone, committing yourself fully can hurt you
Which the wife’s side of the story will be published 😀 seriously loneliness and boredom is killing her n I bet u are been celibate over there?!
Yes u r doing all possible best in provisions of all needs but remember been emotionally absent can make a woman not value physical provisions.
There’s certainly a pro why she’s not soooo into u with all wat u poured here.
There are men who r just like u sake of insecurities but when they touch down they act differently.
She might be “singing a particular song” probably but maybe u r giving excuses or waiting for good feedback
Personally if hubby n I ain’t in good books, I look forward seeing him home all time
I’ve never wanted this long distance marriage but hey it’s an opportunity 4 the betterment of u n ur the entire family
Try to resolve any wahala cuz certainly there’s a reason for her behaviour