She was living in the neighborhood of a house I rented an apartment in last year. I only used to see her around the house. We didn’t talk much except for the occasional small talk. Stuff like, “Hello, how are you?” Or “Hi, where have you been? I haven’t seen you in so long. Did you travel?” Our conversations only stayed on the surface but she always had a warm and bubbly demeanor. Whether I talked to her on a rainy day or on a sunny day, she spoke with the freeness of a two-year-old.
Her energy was so pure and innocent. That’s why I was concerned when I saw her looking sad one day. The first time it happened I didn’t make much of it. I thought, “People’s moods change sometimes. Maybe she is having one of those days.” The second time I saw her clothed in melancholy, I asked her; “You don’t seem to be yourself lately. What’s the problem?”
That day she told me she was having some financial challenges. I cheered her up and told her to hang in there. As the days passed, I noticed that she was constantly down. She no longer had the cheerful smile I had gotten used to. So I started engaging her more and more. This is how we became friends.
I invited her to my home. Sometimes she would spend days with me before returning to her place. My landlord didn’t like the fact that I was having her over but I didn’t care. She needed help and I was there for her. That was all that mattered to me. I felt I was doing the right thing taking care of her financial and emotional needs, although we were just friends.
When things got too complex between my landlord and me, I moved out and rented a new apartment. I asked Ama to move in with me and she did. It was as if I had adopted her. Everything she needed was on me. I provided her with food. I bought her clothes and also made sure she had internet access. Outside these things, I still took care of all the other things she needed to live comfortably.
It took me a while before I developed romantic feelings for her and asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes without a second’s thought. Things flowed naturally between us. But when we got to the part where we had to do what lovers do she would tell me, “No. I am not ready.” I didn’t want it to seem like I was taking advantage of her so I never even tried to persuade her. The moment she turns me away, I let her be.
She has been living with me for about a year now and we still haven’t done it, but that’s not my problem. My problem has to do with her attitude. When she is going out, and I ask her, “Where are you going?” She would start shouting at me. She would ask me, “What is it? Is it because I am living with you that I must report my every move to you? You are not my husband, so you can’t tell me what to do.” After her rants, she would go and come back anytime she liked.
READ ALSO: My Girlfriend Wears The Pants In This Relationship And It’s Killing Me
Her lifestyle is frustrating me. I have sat her down several times and told her, “If you are not ready for a relationship, tell me so I look for someone else. I am getting older and I need a woman who is serious and ready to settle down.” She tells me she is ready to start a family, but first, I have to give her money to start a business. “If you set up a business for me I will know that you love me. Then I will give you shuperu.” I gave her part of the money to prove my commitment to her but nothing has changed yet.
Some Myths About Adoption In Ghana You Need To Stop Believing
She wants me to give her the full amount before she accepts that I am serious about her. Because I haven’t done that, she looks for the slightest opportunity to shout at me. I am a calm person with a dash of madness. But when it comes to her I am always calm. Even when she drives me crazy, I am not able to face her with my anger. I just watch her do her things. She has turned me into a dog who cannot bite.
I was planning to start a family with her but I don’t think I can put up with her behavior for the rest of my life. A voice in my head is telling me that maybe if I marry her she will change. But another voice says she won’t change so I should leave her. I don’t want to make the wrong choice. That’s why I have brought my story to you. Please advise me on what to do.
—Tommy
This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.
#SB
Let her go. She doesn’t love you dat is why she shouts at you. She has seen u hv a soft spot for her and dat is the reason for her behaviour.
Don’t give her any money. Let her go. She
She doesn’t love u bro
Tommy if you can’t control her now, later it will be worse.
I suggest you break up with her. She is only with you because of what she gets from you
Bro, please let her be. You are not able to control her now I don’t think you will ever be.
Look my guy,u better shut the door on this opportunist hell of a woman.She doesn’t have u at heart considering her attitude towards u.Am pretty sure she has has been entertaining other men in her life.U are one in million men,to stay in the same roof with someone u call a lover without shuperu for a year.i won’t take that for even a week.
From the last part of your message, Yes you already made a wrong choice and a terrible mistake you’ll leave to regret. You asked someone you know nothing bout, no friends and no family yet you expect her love and be loyal to you cos you thought you are helping her. Bro, you’re just her helper and when it’s time, she’ll move out to go be with her real lover. When you are in dating a gal who gives you condition and say stuffs like if you don’t gimme this, if you don’t do this, there’s no SHUPERU, My broda run oooo. How long are you going to put up with this for? She is seeing another dude. So it’s easy, end the relationship and tell her to move out ASAP!!!
You don’t wait for a cub to grow to know that they have the traits of a lion. If you don’t break up with her and let her go, she’ll devour you. She doesn’t respect you. She doesn’t love you. She’s only interested in what you can give her. That’s all
This is the type you flee fro.
This is a woman who has no respect for you. It is amazing that you are still in a financialship and you havent realized it yet. she will not change only get worse and you have seen her true self before walking down the aisle. Do with this information as you see fit.
Tommy,let me be sincere and Frank with you, am a woman so I know what am talking about, break up with her,get another place and move out,bcos if you ask her to leave she wouldn’t so you move out,but don’t tell her your plans of trying to move out if not she’ll pretend and you might fall for her tricks, she doesn’t love you ooo,she’s only with you to be on her feet and break up with you, I know what am saying, am a woman, I can’t say everything here,you can contact me on (0591006402/0201651256)