Growing up, I never experienced anything called love. I heard the name and heard people talking about it. I guess it’s the reason I got to know love exists but I never had a feel of it.  And Care. I knew care as a word but didn’t feel it in my life.

People around me made it look like it was a chore taking care of me. When you don’t get what you deserve from home, you go outside and look for it so I walked out in my nice dress and boot with the inscription on my face; “Looking for love.”

Explorers make mistakes and they sink. I made a lot of mistakes that got me sunk. I made some decisions I am ashamed of now. If I were to tell you how I lost my virginity, you’d say I don’t have sense. It is one of the numerous things I regret.

I hopped into different relationships hoping to be loved the way a girl like me deserves to be loved. I gave my all but in the end, it was a disaster. Some left me dry and hanging and others left me broken and dead on the inside.

My last relationship ended in 2021 after 2 years of being together. I gave love and was expecting love back. Alas, I was in the relationship alone. It was that particular breakup that broke me the most. I’m 30 years currently and still broken and alone with trust issues. I’m trying so hard to get over everything and love again but…

I want to be loved. I want to be cared for! I want to be pampered! I want someone to at least wake up in the morning and think of me! That feeling you get when you wake up to a message on the phone that says, “Good morning sunshine,” I want to experience it too.

I want to be someone’s sunshine, the moon, the bright petals and the nectar that draws in colourful butterflies to dine. I want…I want…I want to….what’s the word?  It’s not coming but love is at the bottom of that word I’m looking for. Yes! I want to belong—belong to someone.

Is that too much to ask? Is it too hard for people to give love? I have learnt to love myself. I do it effortlessly. I put myself first and seek what gives me peace of mind. All that’s left is someone to love me right.

I’m sorry…sorry for the long speech. I needed a place to rant.

SHARE | Help Others See It Too

—Karen

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

******