I suffered some terrible heartbreaks in the past that made me decide that women were no longer worth my time and energy. Every time a woman tried to get close to me, I would think about all the ways she would disappoint me after I had allowed myself to care for her. Then I would put up a wall and keep it there until they get tired of trying to get through to me. When they get tired, they get upset. They would complain about my attitude for a while, and then leave me to my devices.

My nonchalance helped me to steer off women for a really long time. Until there was her. She waltzed into my life about a year and a half ago. Unlike the women before her who tiptoed around me in an attempt to break through my walls, this one barged in. She was like a wrecking ball. She smashed every shred of my resolve to dust.

She did not use brute force or aggression to win my heart, no, that’s not what I mean. Everything she did was carefully wrapped in care and empathy. “Have you eaten?” She would ask. If I said no, she would bring me food. If my answer to her “How are you?” is, “I am not well,” she would show up with medication and offer to take me to the hospital.

Whenever I had a need, she had a way to fulfill it. The only thing she never put on the table was her cookie. Every other thing was mine to take. Her time, attention, and affection. She made me feel like I was special. She made me believe in the existence of soul mates. And I was sure in my heart that she was my soulmate.

Every time I looked at her I thought, “This woman is beautiful inside out. She is the one for me.” When I proposed love to her, she excitedly said yes. There’s no greater feeling than being with someone who is excited about you. At least, that’s what I thought.

When things started getting serious between us I asked her, “When are you taking me home to meet your family?” She hissed and said, “Those people? Let’s wait small.” It’s her family so I didn’t push it. Another time I told her, “I am ready to introduce you to my people. I want them to know that I have finally found the woman who owns my heart. When can we go?” She smiled and said, “Aww that’s sweet. Let me look at my schedule and get back to you on that.”

Since then, it’s been one excuse after the other. Be it that I want to meet her family or that I want her to meet mine. How can we have a serious relationship if we won’t take each other home? I even started to wonder if she was a ghost.

To put my mind at ease, I monitored her until I gathered enough information about her sister. She seemed to be very close to her. That’s why I chose her. I used my investigative skills to find out where this sister lives. Then I went searching for her. When I found her, I introduced myself to her and we started talking from then. When my girlfriend found out what I had done, she went ballistic.

“I just want to know someone from your family, so that if something happens I will have someone to call,” I explained. She screamed, “It doesn’t matter your intentions. You stalked my sister. What you did was wrong.” I didn’t think I was at fault but I apologized for peace to reign.

After that time, when she did something I didn’t like, I would call her sister and ask her to talk to her for me. Due to certain things I experienced when I was growing up, I have become so emotional that I can’t hold onto grudges. I don’t like to maltreat people or cause them pain and disappointment either. This is the reason I always complain when my girlfriend does something to hurt or disappoint me. It is also why I complain to her sister so she would advise her for me.

Sometimes I also involve her trusted friend in our problems. I bring in third parties because she refuses to talk to me when she is angry. She would go for days without answering my calls. If not for this behavior, we would have been working out our problems without anyone hearing about it.

READ ALSO: I Married The Perfect Man But My Body Doesn’t Want Him

In case you are wondering why I am still here despite all the stress she is putting me through, it’s because I love her. No, it has nothing to do with sex. We haven’t even done it yet. She says she doesn’t want to do it until we are married. So we are both celibate right now. However, I have invested a lot of money into her. She is learning a trade because of me. I am building her up to be her own woman in hopes that we will get married.

Because I love her, sometimes I try to straighten her up when she is not doing certain things right. A few months ago, I complained that she was always on the phone, especially late into the night. She got angry and refused to talk to me. I had to apologize for several months before she forgave me.

Some Myths About Adoption In Ghana You Need To Stop Believing

Just recently, she has gone back to her behavior of making late-night calls. If she is out and I ask her, “Where are you?” It turns into a fight. On her good days, she would say, “I am at a place. I will call you back.” That’s it. I wouldn’t hear from her for the rest of the day.

I’m silently dying inside. She has stopped me from complaining to her sister, and her friend about us. She wouldn’t also listen to me and change. So I don’t know who to complain to anymore. At this point, I don’t know if I should just walk away or stay and keep fighting for her. Whatever I choose will not be easy. I am so torn and heartbroken. I can’t even concentrate on my work. What do I do?

—Kormi

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB