The most hurtful breakup I’ve had came from Jennifer. She met another man who was better than me and wanted to leave. She wanted a clean breakup that didn’t hurt so she called me at dawn, at dawn because she thought it was going to be a long conversation.

When I picked up the phone she said, “I know this will hurt but please forgive me.  You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re a good person. I’m the devil. I’m the one who flies at night, look at the time I’m even calling you. It’s not about you. It’s about me. I have to leave. My life is in shambles. I need space to put things in order. Forgive me for doing this to you but in the end, you’ll be happy with a better woman. Not a devil like me.”

She destroyed my sleep just to announce a breakup, the most hurtful breakup in my life. She called herself the devil and it was true. The devil comes to destroy. She destroyed my sleep. I let her go so I can open myself up for a better future.

The future flew in with Bella in the frame. She was a nurse–A kind nurse who helped my mother heal and later made me fall in love with her. She was also a staunch Christian. Christians will love you with the love of the Lord and not with the kind of love that comes to destroy your sleep at night.

My mom loved her and was ready to make her her daughter-in-law. She was always telling me, “If you do anything bad and you lose this girl, I’ll never accept any other woman as your wife. She’s a good woman. Keep her. You don’t need any other woman.”

So for two years, it was just me and Bella. She’ll call me at night and pray with me before we sleep. Early morning, we’ll talk. She’ll dip me in the blood of Jesus and tell me to walk like a champion because God was with me. When we had the time, we would take a stroll in the night, hand in hand, talking about our future together.

“We’ll have four kids,” I’ll say.

“Four? That’s too much. I want only two,” she’ll respond.

And then Covid hit in 2020. She was at the hospital and saw many of the cases with her own eyes. She was scared. You could feel it in the way she talked and in the way she behaved. When we met, she brought the Covid rules; “Don’t touch me.” “Observe the distance” “Where’s your nose mask?” When I protested she told me, “You might not have it but I can have it. I work at the hospital, remember?”

One day she told me COVID was the end time; “All these deaths can’t be for nothing. It’s a sign the Messiah is coming.” She told me her pastor had confirmed it and had asked them to live a life of chastity because the trumpet could blow anytime soon.

I challenged her. She hated it when I said it was just a phase and it will leave very soon. She told me, “You don’t get it.” I told her, “You don’t get it. Humanity always wins. Wait and see.”

She sent the email in April 2020. It was during the Easter period. I’m not that guy who picks up his phone and checks the mail because who’ll even send me an email? My job wasn’t about emails and no one in my social life sent me one. It was 2020 and normal people called, sent a text or waved in your Facebook inbox.

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I didn’t see the mail until over a month later. I was going through my emails when I saw Bella’s name. The subject was, “I’m sorry but this is the end.” Everything was written in caps. Caps means she was screaming.

She was calm and reflective in the mail. She told me what her pastor had said and accused me of not trusting in the end-time theory. She pointed to the COVID statistics and asked why I would read that daily and still not see the sign of the end time. She said a patient died at their facility and before she died she said something like “Jesus is coming so you should all repent.”

At the end paragraph, she wrote; “If the Messiah is coming this soon, all we can do is prepare our heart for his coming. I’m putting my heart in good shape to receive Christ all over again. Christ can’t live with you in my heart. It’s the reason I have to let this go and concentrate on the end time that’s about to happen. I’m sorry.”

I took it as a joke and laughed about it. The whole of April our love was strong. Even the day before I saw the mail, we were together talking about the future. She didn’t believe in life after Covid but I did so I talked about it. We were very fine. If she was serious about the mail, she would have asked me to check my mail while she pulled away from me but she never did that.

I called her. I asked, “What was the mail for?” She responded, “Oh, you’ve found it? It’s for everything I’ve stated in there. Thank God you finally found it.”

She was serious about everything she said. God was on his way coming so she wanted to be in good standing for the kingdom. My words meant nothing to her. Even when I asked my mom to intervene, she told my mom to repent before God comes. My mom called and asked me, “Are you sure everything is right with her? I mean mentally.”

She left me. To make the breakup bearable, I tried to break away from everything that would remind me of her. I deleted her photos and deleted the messages. I blocked her on WhatsApp so I don’t see her status update. When she called, I didn’t pick up. I even blocked her line but she called my mom and asked her to tell me to unblock her.

It’s December 2022. I was going through my emails when Bella’s name popped up. The subject read, “I was wrong but can I have another chance?” The mail was sent in September 2022.

In the end, she said, “I know I was wrong and you were right. I acted out of fear but don’t let fear lead us into the valley of death. We can try again. If you see this, please call me.”

I’d moved on long ago and was dating Afriyie but I called just to hear what she had to say.

She was happy to hear from me. I was happy too. She asked if I was calling because of the mail and I said yes. She said, “So I was wrong. Jesus didn’t come after all.” I answered, “You were not wrong. For those who died, it was the end of the world for them. Hopefully, they met Jesus. We are here because it’s not yet our time.”

She asked if I called to accept her proposal for a comeback. I said I called for her to know that I’d finally seen the mail. I told her I was dating and it was going somewhere. She responded with the sound of reflection in her voice, “I understand. It’s my loss but I understand. I wish you well.”

I wished her well too and unblocked her on WhatsApp. Once in a while, she would say hello and we would talk for a while. Nothing serious. Just how are you and how’s life treating you?

It’s July 2023 and my relationship with Afriyie didn’t work. Bella is still available. When we talk, she speaks fondly of the days when we were together. She doesn’t know I’m single. She asks of Afriyie and I tell her she’s doing well. Sometimes she tells me to extend her greetings. She tells me to tell her to take good care of me because I’m a good person.

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I want to take her back but something tells me I should let the past remain as it is and move on with the new current. Sometimes I want to listen to this voice but sometimes, going back for her looks like the best option. She’s the devil I know but she’s part of God’s army. Should I? Well, only time is right and time tells so I’ll wait and see.

—Fredie 

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