My elder sister and I are the only girls among my father’s children. So we grew up forming a very close bond. We were practically best friends. Even as we grew up, our friendship continued. My sister is currently married with three kids while I am also in a committed relationship. We don’t live in the same region so I do my best to visit her whenever I get some days off from work.

My last visit to her place was in December last year. By then she was pregnant with her third child. When I got there I realized there was tension in the house. It didn’t take long before my sister and her husband started arguing. I didn’t know the cause of their argument but it was always so heated. I remember thinking that if I knew they weren’t in a good place, I wouldn’t have visited them.

They weren’t loud when they argued because of their kids. But I still heard them. My only concern was that I would end up in the middle of their fight if they didn’t stop. And if they came to me to pick a side, I would always choose my sister. I didn’t want it to get there but I know them enough to know they would drag me into it as long as I was under the same roof with them.

It was my sister who came to me first. She explained that they were having a misunderstanding because of the pregnancy. The man only wanted one child. But when my sister got pregnant with their second child, he took it well. After the baby was born they agreed that that should be it. My sister went on family planning to ensure that another unplanned pregnancy doesn’t happen. So when she told him she was expecting again, he freaked out. How do you get pregnant when you are on birth control? That was the question he kept asking her.

I asked her the same question, “If you have done family planning, then why are you pregnant again?” She replied, “My friend from work advised me to take it off. She said she has seen women suffer dire consequences because of family planning. The stories she told me were scary so I took it off.” I didn’t offer her any advice because it’s her marriage. I believe she knows her husband best so she would know how to calm him down eventually.

The next person who came to me was my sister’s husband. She waited for her to go to work. Then he started ranting about their problems. Some of the things he told me were unrelated to the pregnancy. One was about a loan my sister gave him, and how she hounded him until he paid it back. Another one had to do with an argument they had and the hurtful words my sister hurled at him.

When I told him, “No way, my sister won’t say these things to you,” he played a recording of the argument. I was surprised that this man chose to record an argument he had with his wife. But it didn’t end there. He continued to talk about something horrible my sister did to one of her coworkers. He also talked about the fact that he has been going through her phone and doesn’t like the familiarity between her and her boss. Then he expressed his displeasure about yet another unplanned pregnancy. Finally, he said, “Your sister has a bad character. Sit her down and talk to her.”

In my attempt to protect my sister, I told her husband, “You know my sister is not all those horrible things you have described her to be. She probably did those things as a reaction to an unpleasant situation. You should also know that the unplanned pregnancy is not her fault. Her friend got into her head about the family planning and made her remove it. That’s why she got pregnant. And I believe pregnancy hormones sometimes make people act out of character so be gentle with her. When the baby comes, she will be herself again.” This was my way of defending my sister.

Shortly after that conversation, I left for my place so I could resume work. I don’t know what my sister’s husband went to tell her when they finally decided to kiss and make up. I was there when she sent me a chain of messages. They were all expressing her anger at me. One of them read, “I thought you were my sister. I thought you loved me. But now I know you hate me and you want my downfall.”

I was very confused. I called to ask her what was going on. And she just shouted insults at me, talking about how I told her husband something she told me in confidence. She was upset about the whole birth control thing. I didn’t mean to cause any problems. I thought I was helping her. I tried to explain this but she wouldn’t listen. She insisted I was trying to sabotage her.

READ ALSO: He Slapped Me When I Refused To Give Him My Phone

I called her husband and asked him, “What exactly did you tell my sister? She is very angry with me about the birth control thing. Did you tell her anything more than that?” This man just responded, “Don’t pay any attention to her. You know how dramatic she gets when she is angry. Have you forgotten that she cuts me out of our wedding photos when we get into a fight? She will come around. Just give her time.”

She is my only sister, how can I give her time? I called her to apologize but she didn’t pick up. I sent her a message apologizing for everything I said to her husband that I was not supposed to say. She responded with more insults and hurtful words. Basically, she cut me off. I took the issue to my dad. After he listened to both sides he said, “You two should work it out. You are sisters.” My brother also said the same thing.

Why Ghanaians Don’t Like To Say, “I Love You” | Silent Beads

Months have passed and she has given birth. I haven’t been able to call her or go and see her because she refuses to talk to me. I am not at peace with myself because of this. I am not saying I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe my sister’s husband turned things around to make himself look good. That’s his problem. I just want my sister back. She is all I have got when it comes to friendship and sisterhood.

That’s why I am here today. I apologized but it didn’t work. Our father and brother couldn’t help either. As for her husband, he cannot be counted on to help. But I need help to make peace with her. So what else can I do to win her back?

—Adwoa

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

#SB