Three years later, as we were nearing marriage, he told me he would like to marry two wives somewhere along the line. He didn’t want to have a wedding in church and didn’t want to sign in court too because he wanted to be free to marry another wife in future.

I was blunt. I was steadfast. I told him, “Then we can’t marry. I want a husband for myself and not a husband I would share with other women so if that’s the case, we better move on and forget about the marriage.

We had already done the knocking rite when he started this conversation. He asked me, “What then happens to the things we’ve bought? Are you going to throw away a three-year-old relationship because of what I said? It doesn’t matter how many wives I marry. It’s what I bring to the table that matters. I’m a good man and will continue being a good man to you after whatever happens in the future.”

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I answered, “You’re a good man, that’s true. We wouldn’t be here having this conversation if you were a bad man. And That also doesn’t mean I should marry you just because of that. I don’t have any problem with you wanting to marry two or three or even five wives but I won’t add up to that number.”

We discussed this at length and later decided to give each other some time to consider their priorities. We were talking every day. We were giving updates to each other. I was still saying no to him until he came to tell me, “Alright. You’ve won. It’s going to be only you. No more second wife.”

I was looking at him but my intuition was poking me, “He’s lying. Believe what they tell you at first. Usually, what they say later say is a lie. He would marry you and later change his mind when he knows it would be difficult for you to leave. Just move on.”

So, for close to five months now, he’s been all over me asking me to believe him and say yes to a marriage. But I don’t trust him and everything in me tells me he would go back to his initial plan someday.

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I’m confused. Should I give him a chance? Should I move on as I already know his motives?

I’m guided by what the Bible says, that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh. What’s abundant in the heart can’t be thrown away in a short time like this and that’s my fear.

—Amy

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