When people were asking the government to shut down the country because of Covid, I was in a lady’s inbox discussing the possibility of staying together should the government declare a lockdown.

The Covid time was an emotional one, especially at the beginning when the news broke out that Ghana has registered its first Covid case. People were looking for safety. I was looking for love. I cared about my safety too but if the world was coming to an end, I needed it to end while I was next to the woman I love.

She had come from the northern region to Accra for school. When we started talking, there was no Covid around but somewhere along the line, the conversation ceased. We didn’t know what to talk about. I had her number but each time we spoke, our conversation ended with “I’m fine. What about you?”

When schools were shutting down, I called and asked her, “Are you OK? Are you going back to the north?” Her answer was, “I don’t know. Currently, I’m with a friend. I’ll decide in the coming days.” I called her morning and evening, asking if she was OK. When she needed money, I sent it. Sometimes I sent her lunch and she called to say thank you.

When the discussion started on the lockdown, she called me. She was stressed and it showed in her voice. She said, “Now I don’t even know what to do. I don’t want to go to the north but if the lockdown happens, I’ll have no choice but to go.” I asked why and she told me she couldn’t continue living with her friend because she might also travel somewhere. I joked, “You can come and live with me if it won’t worry you.”

Something I said as a joke became a serious discussion as we neared the lockdown announcement. On the night when the president announced the lockdown, she called to tell me, “I’m coming tomorrow. I’ll go back after the lockdown.”

It felt like I’d won the lottery. I started cleaning my space and started stocking food, something I never thought of doing. She came early in the morning wearing a face mask behind a face shield. I’d never seen anything beautiful. She came in and sat down with her bags next to her on the sofa.

We started the lockdown even before the nation officially started. She came as a friend but she knew I liked her because I’d said it previously. She didn’t give me an answer so obviously I had to bring the conversation back again.

On the second day, I proposed. She said, “If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be here. I won’t be enclosed with someone I have no feelings for.”

That very day we had our first kiss and shuperu followed. She cooked, and we watched movies while eating. I had a companion. She looked like the love I’d missed all my life and I was going to do everything to keep her. For two weeks we were in the room, doing the same thing over and over again. In the night, we’ll go for a walk holding hands, as if we didn’t want to let each other go.

READ ALSO: How Do I Get Her Attention After She Has Blocked Me?

We planned our future while on lockdown. According to our plans, she’ll complete school, do her national service in Accra and later get a job. A year after getting a job, we’ll marry. We made our plans and wrote it down as if nothing could change anything.

Those days were the best days of my life. I could wake up and think about nothing but love and the beautiful face I had next to me.

When the lockdown was extended, we had another plan. She would travel back to the north and come back when school reopens. She did exactly that. I was at the bus station with her. My heart was breaking. The bus wasn’t full so I sat next to her until the owner of the seat next to her came. It was a guy. I told him, “That’s my precious. Please take good care of her for me.”

I was there when the bus moved. She waved. I saluted her. We were chatting when she said her phone was going off. She sent a text at dawn to tell me she has reached. The message read, “I’m finally home. Thank you for everything.”

That was the final message and the last time we talked. I called a million times but her phone was off. A week later, I decided to travel up north to go and look for her but the question was, “Where? Where do I start?” I knew so little about her that I didn’t even know where exactly in the northern region she came from. Days came and passed by, I thought of her throughout until at some point I gave up the search and the thought of her.

Schools reopened but she didn’t come around. I went to the campus every Saturday and sat in a corner, hoping I’ll see her one day. I never did. My mind healed and my heart forgot about her.

A month ago, I saw her in a shop. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I called her name but she didn’t hear me. She looked like she was chasing something so while I was moving towards her, she kept moving from one position to the other. She grabbed a hand of a little girl and was warning her to stay in one place. I looked at her fingers. She was wearing a ring. I called out her name and she looked up.

“Hey, what happened?”

She said her phone fell into the water. She sent it for repairs and it didn’t come again. “That’s why I couldn’t call again,” she said.

I asked, “You’re married now?” She nodded her head.

I looked at the face of the girl. There was something that looked like mine. Her nose and eyes. If I was a girl, I would look like her. I asked, “Your child?” She nodded. I asked,  “How old is she?” She responded, “I should get going. We’ll talk later.”

I asked for her number but she didn’t give me. “So how are we going to talk later?” I asked.

She told me her husband wouldn’t entertain such calls. I followed her outside. She sat in a car and moved. I was looking at the girl. She would be two going to three. “Is this girl not my daughter? What is she hiding? Why is she in a rush to leave without giving me her number?”

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

I think about them every day. That girl is mine and there’s no doubt about that. Her age coincides with the times but I guess she gave the pregnancy to another man. I don’t have a problem if that’s what she wants but I’m thinking about the future. What if one day, she comes telling me she’s my child? What if the husband finds out and it becomes the reason for the demise of the marriage? What if in future it turns out badly? Should “I look for her and ask for DNA?

I think about these every night before going to sleep but the conclusion that gives me a little peace is this, “Only a mother knows so if she says it’s not yours, then it’s not yours.”

—Amankwa

Do you have any relationship experience to share? Email it to [email protected]

NOTE: NO PART OF THIS CONTENT CAN BE REPUBLISHED OR REPRODUCED IN ANY FORM WITHOUT THE EXPLICIT CONSENT OF THE EDITORS OF THIS BLOG

******