He is a good man. That much I am sure of. He is the kind of man who goes out of his way to give me what I need. Ever since I met him, his love for me has been unwavering. I also loved him very much. I would even say I was blinded by love before we got married. It’s either that or I was just filled with blind optimism that our love alone was enough to satisfy me.

We didn’t abstain from shuperu before marriage. So I knew what I was getting myself into. I saw everything he had to offer. It was not impressive, to be honest. He is very small. The first time I saw it I thought, “What can he do with it?” Sure, he found other ways to give me pleasure. But when he was inside me, it was like he wasn’t there at all.

This is a man who makes me happy outside the bedroom. So I thought everything else would make up for his little size. I genuinely believed it wouldn’t bother me much. That’s why I went ahead and married him. It’s been seven years since we got married, but I have never enjoyed intimacy. Not even once.

The little thing I overlooked is now my headache. Although I married him because he is a good man, I am heavily sex-starved. I still feel nothing when he’s inside me. I spoke to him. I told him, “Babe, I love you but I don’t enjoy it when we are doing it. I think I need something bigger. Should we get a toy?” He just nodded and said, “Sure, we can get a toy if it will help.”

We’ve gotten a few toys since we’ve had that conversation. I use them alone sometimes. Other times we use them together. I act like it’s working but I am not happy. The toys don’t do it for me. They are cold and unalive. What I need is the warmth and feel of human skin inside me.

He does his best with his tongue but I am not a lesbian. I need to be railed hard after he has given me a good head. Am I asking for too much? I am tired of being left hanging. The feeling is very torturous because it feels like I am eating but I am starving at the same time. Imagine it.

This is causing problems in our marriage. I am at a place where his mere presence unsettles me. I don’t want his touch. I don’t want to feel his breath on my skin. I just want to be left alone. One can say that I despise him. I am not sure that’s entirely true. I am just sexually frustrated and knowing that he can’t give me what I want is what hurts me the most.

When he comes close to me, I push him away. He doesn’t like it when I do this, but I also don’t like it when we have shuperu. He gets his satisfaction while I am left wanting more. So what’s the point? Why subject myself to such misery?

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He says I’m being selfish. I don’t see anything selfish about looking out for myself if my needs are not being met. Is he right though? Am I being unreasonable? Is it a crime to want a good f**k?

What do I do? He is a good husband and an incredible father to our three children. I love him but this problem is making me consider getting a separation. I have also done some research on open marriages. It will allow me to keep my husband and still get what I want outside the marriage. It’s not cheating so I won’t be hurting anyone.

I want to bring it up so we talk about it. What do you think he will say? How many men out here will be comfortable with the idea of their women getting railed by another man? I don’t want to make my husband feel inadequate. He is more than enough for me in every aspect of our lives except the bedroom. How do I convince him to understand that I’m not looking to replace him? I am just very horny so I need a good railing.

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