If you haven’t read the first part of this story, here’s the link. Kindly read it before starting this one.

When I was in the USA, I shared the story of how I found Sofia and the trouble she took me through with a very good friend of mine. Anthony. He found the story amusing but he wasn’t surprised. He asked me, “And you had the patience to go through all that because of a woman?” I answered, “It surprises me but it goes a long way to show how deep the love goes.” He said, “She has a point though. Sofia? Is that her name? We usually go down and flip some dollars and get them to do everything for us. It’s good there’s one person out there who wouldn’t fall for dollars. In fact, I like her already. She made my brother fall in love.”

As the conversation progresses, he made a point I thought was very brilliant. He said, “She’s looking out for her interest so you also have to look out for your interest. She’s trying to know you. Don’t sleep. Know her too. She sounds like someone who is pushy and authoritative or someone who will go all out to get what she wants. Make sure you know her very well before you commit.” Before that day, All I thought about was my love for her and nothing else. Before my eyes, she was perfect and could do no wrong. But after that statement from my friend, I also started asking her questions.

“You don’t trust borgers. It looks like you have a history with them and the way they go about lying to people. Have you had anything to do with any of them before?” 

She laughed on the phone. She said, “No I haven’t. You’re my third boyfriend. The first one traveled and didn’t contact me again. It wasn’t anything serious. I was young and wasn’t so much into him like that. The second one was because of tribal issues. His mother didn’t like me because of my tribe. I made a mistake and told my mother about it and she also got angry and decided to hate my boyfriend. Later, we realized it wouldn’t work out so we walked away. Two years later, you came along, and here we are.”

She spoke about her life effortlessly like someone who didn’t have anything to hide. I could ask a question I felt would be difficult for her to answer but she didn’t bat an eye before answering such questions. I asked, “Are you a jealous person?” She said, “Me? Sofia? Jealous? Nooo. I’m not a jealous person. Once I trust you I stick, that’s all. If I don’t trust you, I won’t get closer to you and start getting jealous. I’m a very weak person. I break down easily. I cry without any provocation. So I guide my heart and guide my path so I don’t break down unnecessarily.” 

The more I asked questions, the more I got to know her deeper. I also got to understand her on a different level. One afternoon I called my mom and she said, “Eiii, it looks like you and Sofia planned to surprise me today.” I asked her, “What did she do?” She answered, “If you called me on video, I would have shown you the kind of gifts she brought me today. She left just a few minutes ago and you have also called. Did you plan it?”

Sofia didn’t tell me anything about it. When I asked her she said, “I went to visit her. You’re not here. She is here. She represents you.” My sister was in school. She went there every weekend to visit her. They’ll take photos and send them to me. It looked like the two of them were having fun without me. 

And then the pressure started coming in from my mother’s side, “Sofia is a woman. She was well brought up. Don’t stay there and later come home with any spoilt white woman as a wife. Make up your mind. Choose her. She’s a good woman.”

The plan was to come to Ghana in December but in November I was in Ghana. I didn’t tell her I was coming. She was expecting me in December. She was in her room when I knocked. She came out, looked at me, and said, “What’s that? Go back and tell me you’re coming before you come. I hate such surprises.” The smile on my face was about to fade when she jumped up and threw herself on me. She started hitting my back; “I’m lying. I love surprises. I miss you. Good to be back.” She was screaming like a kid in an amusement park. All our plans were already laid out. The only thing left was for us was to set them in motion.

My family had already done the knocking rite so we followed it up with the traditional wedding. A week later, we got married. It was on our honeymoon that I sent the link to the first story to her to read. She screamed, “You published our story?” I said, “Yes I did.” She smiled while reading. She said, “But why would you do that?” I answered, “I don’t know. Maybe to get the views of other people. I also thought it was a good story to share.” “So what did they say?” Where are the comments?”

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We scrolled through the page and found the story and the comments. She went through all of them with a smile on her face. She said, “A lot of people didn’t understand me. They saw me as a problem but it’s not their fault. They don’t know me. And maybe they don’t understand what it takes to guard a feeble heart like mine. Do you think if you were living in Ghana and I had unfettered access to you, I would have taken you through all that trouble? A relationship is a lifetime commitment. That’s how I understand it. The only time you have to make things right is the beginning. You can’t have a new beginning with an old person. That’s why the beginning is very important. I didn’t want you to be my source of regret and I’m thankful you did your part to ensure that. Here we are now. Did you die because I pushed you to be on social media? Am I a bad person because I wanted to know you better than you tell me about yourself?” 

We live together now and I can attest she’s nothing close to the fear I had. I’m glad I listened to her and did what she asked of me. As she said, it didn’t kill me. It only gave me what I’d always wanted in a woman and I’m happy I made that choice. The lesson is not lost to me. Whatever you want in life, you have to play by the rules to get it. unless you don’t want it that much. But if you do, play by the rules.

—Harry

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