I met Nora, a dedicated and God-fearing Christian when I was in my second year at the University.  She was indeed the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She loved the things of God and she was also an amazing singer. At some point, I thought she was going to be a gospel singer. I was also a dedicated Christian who also loved the things of God. I was even on the path to becoming a pastor then.

We dated without shuperu for six years because she told me she was a virgin and was not ready to do it until marriage. I did not like it but I loved her so I agreed to be celibate. Even when it got to a point where I felt I could no longer control my desire for her, Nora refused to allow me anywhere close to her pride.

I begged her throughout the six years but she refused. Despite the urge to do it, I couldn’t bring myself to cheat on Nora. That’s how deeply I loved her. I did my best to agree to her terms. We did everything including kissing, and touching, among others. Yet we never went all the way. Although I had done it before, Nora was my first girlfriend.

After University, I got a job in Wa and she also got a Job with the Ghana Police Service in Kumasi. I was working with a Public University. Somewhere near the sixth year, Nora called me saying; “I miss you, my dear. I want to visit you.” I refused vehemently, knowing very well that her presence would arouse me but she would not allow me to go all the way with her. It was going to feel like a self-inflicted punishment. Despite all my refusal, she came. That day when I initiated intimacy, she did not stop me. She gave me full access to all of her.

I was surprised when I was met with no resistance as I thrust into her. It didn’t feel like it was her first time. It didn’t even feel like she was someone who had abstained for a very long time. She was just as normal as a girl who is sexually active. It came as a big shock to me. I asked her questions but she insisted that her first time was with me.

She said she believed that her hymen broke due to the sporting activities she had always engaged in. Even though I did not buy her excuse, I loved her so much that I accepted it and let the matter slide. To be honest, the fact that she hadn’t done it before was one of the reasons I stayed loyal to her throughout all six years. No man stays with a woman for six years without sex if he does not love her, you know.

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A few weeks after Nora returned to Kumasi, she called to tell me, “Babe, I am pregnant.” I never doubted her so I accepted responsibility for the pregnancy and took care of her. We gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. A little over a year later, I married her. Right after marriage, we had our secondborn, another boy. Shortly after that delivery, she got pregnant again. This is where my story unfolds.

I was still working in Wa when she got pregnant with the third child. I visited her and for the first time in many years, I took her phone and decided to go through it. I saw a chat between her and a guy. She was addressing the guy as “Dear.” I got furious and confronted her, “Why is a married woman addressing a man who is not her husband as dear?” This led to a quarrel.

In the heat of the moment, my wife blurted out, “You shouldn’t feel threatened by this guy. Acheampong should be your headache.” “Who is Acheampong?” Fury and curiosity merged into one as I asked this question. My wife looked into my face and said, “He was the man who popped my cherry.”

I started sweating and shivering and shaking with anger. Deception is a very bitter pill to swallow. All this while she made me believe I was her first. Although I contested it at the time, I gave her the benefit of the doubt only to have this confession after four years of marriage. I asked her why she lied to me and she said if I had known the truth I would not have married her. She was right. I would not have married her for sure. Why punish me for six years while my fellow man who has his own wife was enjoying your honeypot? And I am expected to go ahead and marry you?

I was hurt that she cheated on me and lied about it, but I was even more hurt when she confessed that Acheampong was a married man. Now my question is, why would a lady keep her virginity all her life, only to give it to a married man? She consistently denied me sex but comfortably gave it to a married man. Does it make sense? Was it worth Keeping it, only to hand it over to a married man? Was I wrong for divorcing her because of this deception? I ran out of love for her immediately I got to know the truth. Besides, she had no remorse for her deception. She didn’t even accept that she deceived me. That’s why I left her without looking back.

—Benyame

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