The last break-up I went through was years ago. It was with a guy I dated for three years. We both completed university together. I had a job after school and was trying hard to put my life together. He didn’t mind about his own life. He complained about not getting a job but I expected him to put more effort into his job search. He didn’t do it. He always came around asking for money. I gave him when I could. Instead of finding ways and means to sort out his life, he was out there going after SHS girls.
Dating an unemployed man had its challenges but dating a cheat who is also unemployed was too much for me to take. I called off the relationship so I could have peace of mind. It was hard for me at first so I buried my head in the sand pretending all I had was my job. Some men came close but I gave them no ears. I wanted to work and make my life better.
When I was good enough to date again, I decided to give Mathew a chance in my life. Just after two weeks of dating, I discovered he was a married man. That discovery broke me into pieces. It wasn’t about the fact that I lost a man but about the fact that I dated a man who was married. I hated myself for that. I hated myself for being careless with a man who was already married.
After that relationship, every man who approached me for a relationship was married. They were either old married men who were looking for young women to while away time with them or they were young married men who were looking for a good time with other women. They came with promises of a good life but I wasn’t looking for a good life. I was looking for a good man to be with. I said no to them all.
They kept coming until I had a fight with a certain man who came to tell me his wife wasn’t good in bed. He said, “That woman is dull. All she knows is to eat and sleep.” I said, “You’re a stupid man to say something like that about your wife. You don’t deserve her. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
He was the last man who proposed to me and that was two years ago. I’m not an ugly woman. I look into the mirror each day and bless God for the way he created me. I wear my clothes and see how fit they look on my skin and tell myself, “God really did a thing on you.” But I go out there and no single man is ready to make a call on me. They ask if I was single. I tell them, “I’ve been single for so many years.” They look at me and laugh; “A fine woman like you is single?”
They don’t believe me. They go and come no more.
Recently I can’t sleep at night. I think about it a lot. I would be thirty years in a week’s time. Marriage takes time to happen. You’ll date for years before it finally moves from dating to marriage. I’m getting to thirty. No boyfriend. No prospective boyfriend. How long do I have left?” My friends tell me to be patient. I tell them, “I’ve always been patient. Where did that take me?” They tell me not to be frustrated. It’s always those friends of mine who are in a happy relationship that tell me not to be frustrated.
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Thinking about the whole thing frustrates me, to be honest. My parents tell me, “Look unto God, everything would be alright.” I’ve looked unto God all this while but nothing has changed. I’m still lonely. Maybe, I’m not created for anyone. No man’s rib was used to form me. Maybe that’s why I’m still lonely. When I go out with my friends, their boyfriends will call to check up on them. You’ll hear them saying, “Babe, I’m out with friends, I’ll be home soon.”
My phone is almost always silent. The only place I find happiness is on social media. I’m in every group you can think of just because I want to while away time and simply forget about my situation. What have I done wrong and what else do I have to do to be in a relationship just like everyone else. I’m a woman who loves to be loved and be cared for. Why is my situation different? Is there anything I’m not doing right?”
–Edna
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If anyone could give you a good solution to this question, the one would be a billionaire overnight. They say, don’t give up on God, cos He won’t give up on you. You have to continue your engagement with your Maker. He knows best and His timing is different. Don’t Give Up and Don’t Try To Solve it Alone!