I told him no sex until I was sure. He agreed. I told him to take me home so I could see where he lived and be sure there was no woman in his life, and he did. I also told him I wanted to speak to one of his parents before I would allow intimacy. He asked what that would do for me, and I said, “At least I will know you take me seriously.”

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That took time since he didn’t come from the same town where we lived. We had both moved there because of our respective jobs. I went home every weekend, and he did the same. Whenever neither of us went home, we spent the weekend in each other’s company.

He told me, “You also have to take me to meet your parents so I’ll know you’re truly serious about me.”

We traveled for three hours to see his mom. He introduced me as the woman he had met and even added, “She said she won’t be my girlfriend until she meets you.”

His mom was extremely nice to me. She asked where I came from and what I did for a living. On our way back to where we lived, I slept with my head on his lap. When darkness fell, he lowered his head and kissed me while I lay there.

Our relationship officially started on that bus ride. We got home as full-blown lovers.

When it was my turn to take him to meet my parents, he kept postponing it until one day my mom came to visit me, and I took him to see her. He didn’t even know my mom was around. I asked him to come over, and when he arrived, I introduced him to my mom as the man I had found.

Not long afterward, we started having sex. I had come to trust him with everything I had. I would be with him while he talked to his mom, and afterward, he would hand me the phone so I could say hello.

One day, I found him in a reflective mood. He didn’t say much and looked as though he had received bad news.

He told me, “I’ve been transferred back home. Someone resigned, and they said I should go back and replace the person.”

I screamed, “Wow, that’s a bullet through the heart. Does that mean you’re going to leave me?”

All week, we talked about it. I was breaking inside, knowing the person who made each day worthwhile for me was going to leave very soon. He made promises. He said distance couldn’t quench what we had started. He said that when two hearts are determined, distance disappears.

The day he was finally leaving, I cried in his arms as though he had died. He left, and I felt so empty, as if the world had ended without me.

We maintained that kind of relationship for over a year. He would come to visit me one time, and the next time I would visit him, until he told me he had been assigned to a project that would take him out of town.

While we were planning how to manage our relationship with the new project he was going to be working on, I found out that I was pregnant. I was scared he would tell me to abort the pregnancy. I was scared about our future, but I felt keeping the pregnancy was the right thing to do. I kept the news from him, hoping I would tell him too late for him to ask me to abort it or use our future together to pressure me into getting rid of it.

He was supposed to visit on Saturday. He called on Friday to tell me something had come up, so he wouldn’t be able to come but would instead visit the following weekend.

First, it was Alice. She asked where my boyfriend was, and I told her he hadn’t come over that weekend. Then Jennifer asked if I was still dating my boyfriend.

Then Erica sent me a photo with the caption, “Who does he look like?”

It was a man in a suit sitting next to a woman in a wedding gown. I didn’t have to look twice before I knew it was Fiifi.

Erica asked, “Doesn’t he resemble Fiifi to you?”

I replied, “Fiifi? That’s Fiifi! Where did you get this picture?”

The picture was on the Instagram page of a wedding vendor.

I called him several times, but he didn’t pick up. Later, he gave his phone to someone else to answer and tell me he was busy.

I told the person, “Tell him I know he’s having his wedding, and tell him also that I’m pregnant with his child.”

I didn’t hear from him again that day, so the next morning, I called one of our neighbors who knew our story very well and told her what had happened. She screamed, “And you’re sitting there crying? Don’t you know where to find him? I’m ready if you want me to go with you.”

Early the next morning, we set off. When we got there, the woman he had introduced to me as his mom was there. She said she was actually his aunt, not his real mother. She directed us to where we could find him.

When we got there, he was seated comfortably with his new wife and a few family members. The moment he saw me, he sprang to his feet as though he had seen a ghost.

“What are you doing here?”

Becky started asking the questions.

“Do you think if this woman cries because of your marriage, you’ll ever have peace in it? How can you be this wicked? For your information, she’s pregnant.”

Everyone’s eyes widened.

I added, “You took me to your aunt because you knew exactly what you were doing? I’m pregnant. Am I the second wife or the second woman?”

He started denying me, asking how much I had been paid to come there.

I screamed, “Should I invoke a curse?”

By the time I finished telling my story, everyone sat there with their mouths wide open.

His wife stormed away angrily, and I didn’t see her again before I left.

The family asked me to go home and said they would later come to see my family and settle the matter.

When I got home, I felt relieved, but that relief came with the realization of what needed to be done. I couldn’t bring a child into the world who would forever remind me of this experience. I got rid of the pregnancy. It still haunts me, but I believed it was necessary.

He later came with his family to seek a settlement and also told me that a DNA test would be done after the child was born. I told him I needed nothing from him and that he owed me no responsibility, so he should leave me in peace.

I Called My Girlfriend And Another Man Answered The Phone

He never lived with his wife for even a week before they eventually divorced. His wife thought I had carried the pregnancy to term. Even he thought I had. I blocked his number and erased every memory of him from my life.

It was only after their divorce that he reached out to me again. I still told him I owed him no explanation.

Maybe he knows. Maybe he doesn’t know I got rid of the pregnancy. Whatever he believes is enough evidence that we both ended up living with the consequences of our choices.

—Kathy 

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