One Sunday morning, my girlfriend called me on phone and said, “There’s something we have to talk about. Can we meet at the school park this evening?” I didn’t understand it. “Why school park? What is it that we can’t discuss at my place or your place but we have to go to the park?” She answered, “It’s better that way so you come around.” In the evening, I met her at the park. She wore a sober face and spoke reflectively. She said, “I’ve had an encounter with God these very few days and he had called me to be part of his flock.” I said, “That’s nice. You’ve always been a Christian so what’s the difference?” She said, “You don’t understand. When someone is in Christ, she becomes a new creation. I can’t continue in my sins and still proclaim Christ so it’s better we go our separate ways.”

I thought she was going mad. “You’ve met Christ so we should throw away our three years relationship? Where in the Bible was it stated that you can’t have a boyfriend? How can you marry if you don’t keep a boyfriend?” She said, “We can do courtship but the rules concerning Christian courtship would be too hard for you to follow that’s why I’m suggesting we break up.” She went on to give me a long list of things we couldn’t do together; “We can’t have sex and we can’t kiss. We can’t engage in any sins of the flesh. We can’t hug unless we are in church and we have to hug for the Lord.”

I wasn’t ready to let the three years go just because she had become a born again Christian. Being a born again Christian in itself isn’t a bad thing. All I needed was self-discipline and I was good to go. I told her I was ready to comply. “The only thing is to speed up the preparation for marriage so we can marry and avoid all these temptations.” 

We didn’t attend the same church. She attended a Charismatic church and I was a Methodist. She started asking me to attend the same church with her. I told her I couldn’t and I wouldn’t stop her from attending her own church even after we’ve gotten married. She didn’t take my answer so somedays I went to church with her and other times, I went to my own church. But the rules kept compounding every blessed day. She stopped coming to my house because a born again Christian doesn’t visit her boyfriend’s house, else the devil would tempt them into fornication. That didn’t bother me but I had to meet her at the school park every evening for prayers so we can talk after the prayers. I did that too.

For over six months our love life became prayers, church, and fasting. If I got angry and complained, she’ll say the devil had taken over my mind. One evening I didn’t go to the park for prayers. She called and I didn’t pick. I was too tired to walk to that park and stand on my feet for hours to pray. Later in the night, she came knocking on my door; “Evans, come out and let’s talk.” I shouted from the inside; “Please the door is not locked, you can come inside.” She said, “Don’t let the devil use you, come outside.”

I didn’t talk again. Five minutes later, the door opened and she entered. Immediately she entered I held her by the arm and kissed her. She started spiting the kisses out of her mouth; “Evans, why would you do that? Is that the reason why you asked me to come inside?” Before she could finish her last sentence, I was all over her, touching and kissing. She tried to push me off but minutes later, she was the one opening my zip. When we were done and panting she said, “God knows I didn’t want it but you forced me. You’ll answer for your sins.” When she got home, she called to tell me; “We need to fast for three days and ask for forgiveness and promise God it wouldn’t happen again.”

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I didn’t do that fasting but she did. She called at each dawn and prayed with me, followed by some minutes of exhortation. After the three days, she proclaimed us clean to serve the Lord again. So that became my masterplan. “I won’t go to the park prayers. She would come around and I will get her.” One evening, I didn’t go. Later that night, I heard a knock. I asked her to come in, immediately she entered, I jumped off the bed to hug her, that was when I realized she came with another friend. All my plans died off immediately.

But it wasn’t so long until we got married. We no longer had barriers. All that was sinful isn’t sinful again. We could do it at any time and later pray without a feeling of guilt and shame before the Lord. Now she wants it often than I can give her. I’m the one giving the excuses now; “I’m tired from work. Can we do it at dawn?” At dawn, she would pinch me to wake up. I would tell her, “Please I’m tired, can’t we do it some other time?” She would respond, “You don’t have to do anything. Just lie there while I do my own thing.” Maybe I should tell her I’m a born again husband and born again husbands don’t do it when they’re tired. Or I’m getting mad? 

— Evans