We’ve been together for three years, and throughout this time, her family has consistently blocked me from completing the marriage process. I met her while she was at the university but I knew I wanted to marry her instantly.

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When her family rejected my marriage proposal, it didn’t break us up. We continued dating until she got pregnant. We thought the pregnancy would change things but it didn’t. Her family still wouldn’t let me marry her. In fact, I spent all my savings in an attempt to formalise things, but it was all for nothing.

They encouraged her to have the baby but not marry me. I was hurt but I stood by her through everything. I took care of our child while she stayed in school. Now she is done with school and has given birth to our second child. Since her family won’t let us get married, we’ve moved in together. So the marriage is no longer an issue.

Right now, my problem has to do with her anger issues. I brought it up during a conversation, and she promised to change, but things only got worse once we started living together.

It has gotten to a point where I’ve fallen out of love with her, but I feel stuck, especially because of the kids. I’m deeply attached to them. Besides, I don’t want her to raise them all by herself.

Apart from the fact that she is not working, I honestly don’t believe she can take proper care of them. When I say that, I don’t mean I wouldn’t support them financially. It’s just that I worry she would spend the money on herself instead of the children.

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Emotionally, the marriage is already over for me. We can’t even hold a proper conversation like a couple. Everything turns into an argument. Even roommates have better communication than we do.

All the fights have killed every feeling I have for her. We don’t even get intimate anymore. I can’t even get it up when I’m with her. We are just coexisting at this point. And I don’t think it’s good for the kids to grow up in this kind of cold environment. But I don’t want them to grow up in separate homes either. What’s the right move for us then?

—Teddy 

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