We’ve been together for over a year but we weren’t sexual at first. I told him I wanted to take my time to understand him and be sure he was the one for me. I told him to also do the same thing and he agreed. For almost a year, we weren’t intimate. He comes to my place and we stay outside until he leaves. I go to his place and I’m always careful that he doesn’t pounce on me. He’s a gentleman. He didn’t try to take it by force or coerce me to do it when I wasn’t ready. 

One day it finally happened at his place. We did not plan it but it happened. When we were done, he got down, picked up the boxer he threw on the floor and wore it again. 

I said in my head, “He wore the same thing he threw on the floor? It’s his house, couldn’t he have changed into something new?” I had an extra panty in my bag so it’s that one I wore before I left his house. It was the first time I was seeing him like that, yes I thought about what he did but it didn’t cause me any concerns. 

The next time I saw him in boxers, he was wearing the same colour I saw that day. Blue boxer shorts with black stripes at the seams. I was watching him all afternoon. When we had to go out, he went to shower. He returned from the shower wearing the same blue boxer shorts with black stripes at its seams. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I wanted to ask questions but I couldn’t. I didn’t see him while he was pulling up his boxers so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. “Maybe he has a lot of them in the same colour. Blue might be his favourite colour, who knows?” 

We went to town and came back, cooked, played, ate and later ate. We spent the night together. In the morning when he returned from the shower, he picked his boxer shorts from the floor and wore it again. I saw it with my very eyes so there was no reason to doubt. “Or that’s all he has?” 

One day when I got the chance, I went through his wardrobe looking for where he keeps his briefs. Everyone has it. There’s a place in a wardrobe where we keep our briefs, usually in one of the drawers. His wardrobe has three drawers. I pulled all of them and couldn’t see where he kept his boxers and singlets. The only thing I saw was socks. I drew the conclusion that what he was wearing was all he had. 

I bought a dozen for him. I made sure they came in different colours and in different stripes. I carefully selected them. Even the ones in the same pack came in different colours. I wanted to have a reason to talk to him about that. I went to his place one weekend and asked for his dirty laundry. He brought all of them out and I saw only one boxer in the laundry. “What? He wore one boxer short for a week? How’s that possible?”

“Agyeman, you have only one boxer short and a couple of singlets here. Where are the rest? Where did you keep them?” 

He came out looking confused. “What do you mean?” He asked. I answered, “I mean you have only one dirty boxer shorts here. What happened to the rest you wore over the week?” He gave me a wry smile before telling me, “That’s all I have. The rest are not dirty because I didn’t wear them.” I was like “Huh? You wore one boxer for a week? How’s that possible?” 

He threw a lot of nonsensical excuses here and there. The popular one among the excuses was, “I’m a man. I don’t need to change boxers like women change their dross. If I’m sweaty, fine. I can change but I work in the AC. I hardly sweat so why should I keep changing boxers every day? We guys are not like that ooo.”

He’s not the only guy I’ve known intimately. I have brothers too. I don’t remember seeing them wearing the same boxer shorts consecutively for days. “Or I didn’t look at them very well?” I told him, “I know washing is a problem for a lot of guys that’s why you may repeat clothes and briefs. Don’t worry, change them every day. I’m here. I’ll wash them for you.”

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Even when I had told him all that, he kept telling me he’s a guy and guys don’t change supporters every day. He made it look like a sacrilege for a man to change boxer shorts often. It’s been weeks. I’ve been monitoring him. Nothing has changed. He keeps wearing one for days. The last time I washed for him, I saw four boxer shorts. He was trying to play smart but I was smarter. You could see two of the boxers had not been worn because they smelled fresh without stains of sweat. 

He prefers washing a clean boxer to washing a dirty one. What’s wrong with him? What’s too hard about changing briefs? I’m a woman. My closest friends are the briefs I wear. I don’t even wear one panty for a day, I can’t. I walk around with spare panties so I can change into them during the day depending on my state. At least I wear two panties in a day but my guy will wear two or fewer in a week.

I think of it and it makes me see him differently. Sorry to say this but I see him as a dirty man, a man who cares less about hygiene but he tells me all men are like that. “Some are even walking around looking prim and proper but underneath, they are wearing boxers that have holes in them.” 

Having holes is different from being dirty, I told him. It may be clean and still have holes. That’s better than wearing unclean boxers. “You’re not a man so you won’t understand,” he told me. But who can understand this insanity? 

Now I call my boyfriend early in the morning and instead of saying “I love you” at the end of our conversation, I remind him not to wear the same boxer he wore yesterday. When I text him goodnight, I add, “Make it a good morning tomorrow by wearing good boxer shorts.” 

Isn’t that a lot of work? A whole man who goes to the office and shouts orders to subordinates has to be reminded to change his boxers. Isn’t that weird? Guys, is it true that you roll with a single boxer for days? 

What Would You Do If I Died Today? | Beads Media

You shave your bead, clean your teeth, wear beautiful clothes, put on nice perfume and propose to a girl while wearing the boxer shorts your mother put on you when you were a baby? Is that what you do? Or my boyfriend is making you all look bad just to save face. I can’t understand why a simple thing like changing boxers will be a problem in a relationship. I simply can’t understand it. Tell me it’s not normal and I’ll force him here to come and read the comments. M’abrɛ mpo. 

–Efe

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