I met Kofi in 2010. He didn’t have much but he had big dreams. He wanted to make the world a better place. And whenever he smiled at me, my world became a happier place. He had this gentleness about him that I also found very appealing. The final thing that made me warm up to him was his God-fearing nature. He loved God, and his love for God and the things of God sent me hurtling head over heels in love with him. So when he asked me to marry him, I said yes, without stopping to think about his poor finances. I believed in him and I trusted God to turn things around for us.

A year after his proposal we got married, and our marriage is currently eleven years old. We have three beautiful children who always bring me joy. As I stated earlier, Kofi had nothing when we God married, and neither did I. But our marriage was built on our strong faith in God, so we prayed constantly and trusted Him to see us through. We would wake up at dawn and pray till we were depleted of strength. Some of the prayers started from midnight and continued till morning. Through those days that we had nothing, we were very close. My husband never did anything without confiding in me first. We applied for jobs for him together and we always prayed over these applications. As for me, I had a government job, and though the salary wasn’t much we were managing it.

By and by, God heard our prayers and opened the windows of heaven, and shone his face upon us. Kofi landed his dream job. The money was mouthwatering, and it came with amazing benefits. Our family transitioned overnight. Our story became a grass-to-grace story. Everything we couldn’t afford in the past, we were able to afford. Our lives became easier and smoother. And we were so thankful to God for his blessings. Then my husband started coming home late from work. When I asked what was going on he told me; “I made some friends at work so we’ve been spending some time bonding after work.” I thought it was good for him to make friends with his work colleagues so I didn’t make a fuss about it.

Gradually, things began to change in our marriage. It was my husband who was specifically changing. He became this whole new person that I didn’t recognize. Whenever we had to make a decision concerning our family my husband would say, “I spoke to the guys from work and they said we shouldn’t do what you suggested.” The first few times it happened I didn’t notice it but as it reoccurred, I saw that everything he said was laced with; “The guys from work said…” or “I am going somewhere with the guys from work.” It became so bad that this man never listened to anything I had to say if it didn’t align with what his friends said. I was in the marriage with him but he was in it with his friends.

It got to a point he wouldn’t stay home on weekends. He was always at one funeral or the other with his friends. Sunday church service became a thing of the past. We no longer prayed together as a couple. I was the only one praying and warring for us, while my husband looked up to his friends as though they were gods. It was such a heartbreaking thing to behold.

The next thing that happened was his behaviour toward other women. He started entertaining them in a sexual way. I saw a lot of flirtatious messages on his phone. Sometimes he met up with these girls. While all this was going on, he barely attended to my needs in the bedroom. His behaviour was getting out of hand so I reported him to his mother. Instead of the woman listening to me, she made it look like I was a bad wife. At that moment I understood that they were afraid to talk to him, because of his money. His dad, who would have handled him, man- to- man is deceased.

After my report to his mother backfired, I kept everything to myself. I am naturally a private person, so it was easier to just endure whatever he was doing. The only person I confided in was God. I kept asking God to turn my husband’s heart back to Him, and to me, but nothing changed over the years. If anything, he became worse. So I adjusted my expectations in the marriage. I kept my faith in God alive, while I displayed a happy face to the world. I always look good and have an active social life so nobody suspects I am in a lot of pain. And I probably would have continued to endure him silently because I thought I had seen it all. But something else has happened and I’m not sure how to handle it.

READ MORE: How Do I Stop My Girlfriend From Falling For Another Guy Because Of His Car?

A few days ago, I found a weird apron among his stuff. First of all, Kofi isn’t a domestic man so he doesn’t have any need for an apron. Secondly, the apron had some symbols on it that just weren’t ordinary. It piqued my curiosity so I asked him, “What are you doing with this apron?” He looked grim as he said, “I am a member of the brotherhood. That’s our apron.” I was confused, “You mean you and your friends wear aprons? For what?” He shook his head and said, “No, not my friends. I am a member of an occultic brotherhood.” He was being frank with me but I didn’t believe him until he added, “Every time I travel to Kumasi for a funeral, it’s not a funeral. I go for meetings.” That was all he said. He didn’t tell me how he became a part of them or why he is part of them.

I am very upset about this new information. I was raised on sound Christian values, and so was he, until he decided to join a cult. I endured the flirtations with other women, and his prioritizing his friends over me. But his association with the brotherhood is the final blow for me. How am I supposed to be a Christian and remain married to an occultist? I don’t know what to do, but I also don’t earn enough money to provide for our three children all alone. I would have just travelled with the kids and forgotten all about him if I could.

— Dufie

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