There is a secret my husband’s family has been hiding for years. They have succeeded so well in covering their tracks that the one person who should know has no idea. And I fear the destruction that will rise when she finally finds out. Because I want to be the one to tell her.

She is someone I call a friend.

We are married to brothers of the same family. I had been married to hers long before she came into the family, so I took a special interest in her. I welcomed her with open arms, the way a mother would. Because I had been around long before she joined, I helped her understand the intricacies of this family. Who was too loud. Who she should avoid like a plague. Who she could actually trust. That was how we became friends. At family events, we were always together, dancing, laughing, chatting. That is what we do.

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When it comes to us, she tells me everything. Every major decision. Every fear. I trust her with my unfolding life.

But I have not been truthful on my part.

I am in the middle of a situation where if I turn left, there is fire. If I turn right, there is fire mixed with wate.

Here is the deal, my brother-in-law has a child with a former lover. Maybe they are still together, maybe they are not. That child is way older than their marriage. I cannot tell you for a fact. But his baby mama is also a childhood friend of mine. She sees my status in this family. She knows how close I am with his wife, that we are sisters-in-law and good friends. She trusts that I will not tell her because they have all decided to keep this quiet.

My brother-in-law has come to find out that I have this information. So far, he has not been jittery. He has not asked me not to tell her.

I stumbled upon this information myself, and when I asked my husband, he simply said, “Yes, everyone knows about it.”

But what about his wife? She does not know.

I feel it is my place to tell her. When we are talking about baby daddy issues and trust issues I see the way she reacts. I see her demeanor, how calm she is. She says, “I’m glad I don’t have any baby mama issues,” She boosts of her husband so much every now and then. Most of the times we all try to avoid her eyes. Because how it is so pathetic to look at.  She knows her husband, but she really does not.

They are the couple of the sanctuary. The beautiful love they show each other, when you are around them, you can only feel it too. I love it for them. But I dislike the fact that he had twelve good years to come forth with the truth. Before they got married. After they truly settled in. Yes, it would have killed them, but I know they would have survived it regardless.

So I am planning to tell her the truth, once and for all. It is my duty as a friend. As a woman. If anything, I would rather not be described as the friend who knew and did nothing about it.

I am not protecting only my interest. I am trying to protect my interest because that child is the man’s first child, illegitimate or not. In the society we find ourselves in, things can go south quickly. He is a man. He will be excused for this treacherous act. She will be taunted to forgive him while she soldiers through her pain alone.

For twelve years, parents in law, uncles and aunties have been quiet on this matter. They laugh and shake hands with her. It is sickening when you see it right in front of you.

I have strong feelings about telling her. But yet again, is it truly my place to tell her? But when I imagine her finding out some other way, from someone who does not love her the way I do, on a day when I am not there, I know I cannot live with that either.

I don’t have an answer yet. What I have is this: a friendship built on honesty that is sitting on top of a lie. And a woman who deserves to know her own life

—Sister in love

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