Our story began when I decided to call my cousin one day. I didn’t know I had mixed up the numbers until I heard an unfamiliar voice say, “Hello, who is this?” Immediately, I said, “Sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number. I am trying to reach Patrick.”

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Before I could hang up, he uttered the words, “Just because this is the wrong number doesn’t mean you are talking to the wrong person. I would like to get to know you. Can we be friends?”

It all sounded strange to me, but I did not turn him down. I accepted his offer of friendship.

We spoke a lot in the days that followed. I would wake up in the morning to a good morning text from him. At night, I would sometimes fall asleep with his voice in my ears. I found every conversation with him exciting and enlightening. One day, he made a request that filled me with dread.

“Can we have a video call? I want to see you.”

“Umm… I’m– I’m– I’m sorry, but I am not comfortable with video calls.”

“I just want to put a face to the beautiful voice I am gradually falling in love with,” he pushed.

“The best I can do is send you a photo,” I countered.

He agreed.

When I sent the photo, it was only half of my face that showed. He asked why he couldn’t see my full face. In that moment, I took a leap of faith and told him the truth.

“I suffered an accident when I was a child. It left me damaged in my left eye. Apart from affecting my sight, it has affected the way I look as well.”

I didn’t go into details about the emotional scars I have accrued over the years because of the way I look, or how my self-esteem took a hit because of the negative names people have called me because of my disability. I only explained that my eye was the reason I didn’t want him to see my face.

He said he didn’t care how I looked. “I want to be your boyfriend if you will have me.” Maybe it was the timing. Maybe it was the safety that comes with invisibility. Whatever possessed me, I agreed to date him despite never seeing him.

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We’ve been dating since 2023. I still decline his attempts at video calls. I continue to send him photos of half my face. We agreed to meet for the first time last month, in April. I was happy and eager to finally see my man. But I was crippled by fear when the time was approaching. “What if he sees me and decides he doesn’t want me anymore?” I couldn’t shake off that feeling. So I cancelled.

He was disappointed, but he took it well. He said we could always meet another time, but what he meant was that it was up to me to make the decision.
It’s not as if I don’t like him—far from it. This man means a lot to me. I reject the proposals of other men because of how much I love him. I don’t go a day without talking to him. He is always eager to randomly send me his photos. I must say that he is a sight for sore eyes (no pun intended).

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I look at that handsome face of his and wonder if, truly, a man that fine would want to marry me. Yes, he is talking about marriage. He is done with school now, so he says he is ready. The other day, he asked me to fix a date so he can introduce me to his family.

We both know I would have to meet him first before the family meeting happens. That’s what I don’t have the courage to do. What if he meets me and changes his mind about everything we planned? Or worse, what if he accepts me but his family rejects me? It has happened before. Even members of my own family have kept me at arm’s length because of my problem. I am so anxious thinking about everything that could go wrong. What do you advise me to do?

—Charlie

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