What Can A Woman Do To Stop Men From Cheating On Her?

“Do you know who I am?” I asked her. She nodded, “Yes, you are Kwame’s ex-girlfriend.” I asked her again, “Do you know Salem?” She boldly announced, “Of course, he is my boyfriend.” Before she could catch her breath, I slapped her right cheek. She got furious and came at me. Luckily, my ex, Kwame was there to hold her back. If not, this girl would have beaten me into a pulp. As I watched her try to break free of Kwame’s hold, I wondered; “How did I get into this mess? How did this become my life? When did I become the kind of woman who gets into fights with other women because of a man?”

In retrospect, everything began the very first day I saw Salem. I had gone to work at my grandmother’s shop. That day I got there earlier than the worker who had the keys to the shop. So I had to sit on the stairs and wait for him. While I was sitting there, I locked eyes with a very handsome gentleman across the street. Boy was so fine, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He also stared at me for a long time. Then he walked away. I felt a little disappointed, thinking he was gone. Only for me to see him standing in front of me in all his grace, with a charming smile on his face. He introduced himself and asked if we could be friends. I didn’t trust my voice to speak so I nodded. He kept smiling when he asked, “So can I have your number?” This time I found my voice and eagerly gave my number to him.

I spent the rest of the day daydreaming about him until he called me. He sounded all cute and polite. He asked if I could make some time to meet him, and I said yes. We agreed that he would come and meet me in the shop around 5:00 PM. When he arrived he said, “I am shy to come in there and sit with you. Can we go for a walk?” I said okay. It was during that stroll that I memorized his name, Salem. “I am a teacher doing my out program,” he said. The more we talked the more he revealed that he is an ambitious man. If I didn’t like him before, that trait sealed the deal.

We started communicating endlessly from that day. I realized how much he had grown fond of me so the day he proposed to me, I wasn’t surprised. It happened just a few days after our first encounter. I also liked him very much but I was dating Kwame then. Kwame and I had our problems but I loved him so I couldn’t consider giving Salem a chance. I told him the truth, “I also like you, Salem, but I have a boyfriend. I’m sorry, but we can only be friends.” He took my rejection well and accepted my offer of friendship. He walked me home every evening I closed from work and we spent hours talking on the phone. Then one day, Kwame took his number from my phone and called him to warn him to stay away from me.

I don’t know what exactly Kwame said in his warning but after that day, Salem’s presence reduced in my life until he was completely gone. I saw it happen slowly but I didn’t want any drama so I allowed him to go. I was hurt and heartbroken when he left but I moved on with my life. Two years into my relationship with Kwame, he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. I knew I should have left him then but I couldn’t bring myself to walk away from everything we had built together. So I stayed with him even though I wasn’t happy. The girl he impregnated gave birth and started harassing me. She would call me shouting, “Felicia, leave my husband alone and go find your own man.” I didn’t like drama but I put up with all of that.

As I was enduring a relationship that was long overdue, the universe brought Salem my way again. It was nice to see him after so long. The good news was that he still held a torch for me. And this time around he was willing to stay and fight for me. While I was trying to sort out my feelings for him, I caught Kwame cheating on me again with another girl. I was at his place when I found out. By then he was at work so I called him and told him I’d poison him if he returns. Mad, right? I didn’t do that though. I rather left his place for my mom’s that very evening. It was at that point that I decided enough was enough. I broke up with him and said yes to Salem’s proposal.

Salem was such a Prince Charming. He made sure he called me every day and also made sure we saw each other very often. He took me for rides on his motorbike almost every evening. I have an album of memories in my mind from all the adventures we embarked on. I enjoyed my newfound love with Salem until I realized he was entertaining one particular girl. When I confronted him he told me, “Kwame put this girl on my path in an attempt to tear us apart. So I am keeping her close so that I can get information on Kwame.” “For what? Kwame doesn’t matter to our relationship anymore so why are you entertaining his trojan horse? I don’t want you talking to her anymore.”

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I noticed he stopped talking to her for some time and started again when he realized I had stopped monitoring him. So I picked up the girl’s number from his phone and called to ask her what was going on between her and my boyfriend. She told me they were just friends, but I didn’t believe her. Later, I was there when a number called me telling me she is friends with this same girl Salem was entertaining. The girl’s friend told me that her friend was dating Salem. I got mad. I felt lied to. I called Salem but he refused to pick up my calls. I called the other girl too but she also refused to answer the call. I then decided to go to her house and see her in person. When I got there I asked if she knew me. That conversation led up to the slap I gave her on her right cheek. That day Kwame made me understand how crazy I had become. He asked me, “You left me because I am a cheat, and now you are with another cheat. Look at what that relationship has done to you. The Felicia I knew wouldn’t even confront another woman because of a man. You should have gone for someone better than me, not someone worse.”

I was angry. I was sad. I felt disrespected by Salem. I had started tertiary school by then so school reopened and I left for school. I didn’t break up with him. Because he apologized and changed. Then I came home from school and found him entertaining another girl. Her name is Abena. I asked him who she was, and he told me she was an old classmate he recently reconnected with. However, his actions did not tally with those words so I set out to investigate the nature of their relationship. I picked up her number from his phone without his knowledge.

The following day, I was at my mom’s end when I had a very strong feeling to call the number. I decided against it several times until the urge became too strong for me. I picked up my phone and called the number. A young girl picked up and I asked for her name. I then asked if she knew Salem, and she said yes. Then I asked if I could meet her. She was at work so she directed me to her workplace and I went to meet her. I spoke to her calmly and she gave me the information I needed. Salem had proposed to her. I told Abena to ask him to meet her and he agreed to come. When he got to the place they scheduled, we both went to meet him. When he saw me walking behind Abena he walked up to her and asked her to sit on his motorbike so he can whisk her away from me.

I asked the girl not to mind him. So we all stood there in awkward silence until he rode off leaving us there. Abena was scared and I was shocked. I believed he had changed. We have plans to get married. Both our parents know we’re dating. His dad has met my grandpa and we are only waiting for my father’s approval so we could do the knocking ceremony, after which we would start counselling. I feel very sad that all this is happening, but I hold nothing against him.

The Story Of My Worst Valentine–BEADS MEDIA

Although I  have forgiven him for what happened, deep down I am not okay. Whenever I ask why he did what he did, he gets angry. I really want to understand what happened, so that I will know why men keep cheating on me. Is there something inadequate about me that pushes them to seek comfort from other women? I need answers from him so that I can do things differently. The more I think about it the more I feel crazy. I pretend I am happy but my mind is telling me that I am not enough. And that it is all my fault. Please what should I do to prevent something like this from happening to me again?