When I was leaving the house that day, I thought already knew the kind of day I was going to have. It was Val’s day and I had planned to spend the day with one of my girlfriends. While I was with her, she had to step out to take care of a few things. I was keeping myself busy until the lights went off. My battery was low and I was bored. I have a friend who also lives in the same neighborhood. Sometimes I pass by to say hello to him. So I decided to go and charge my phone at his place.

I went over and charged my phone as planned. I realized he was having a drink but I didn’t see it as unusual. When I got enough battery power to leave he said, “Don’t go just yet. Let me finish my drink and let’s talk about something.” He is not one to announce he wants to talk before he does, so I waited for him.

Before he started talking he was acting clingy. Although we were friends, I never allowed him to get so close that he would even touch me playfully. We could be in the same room or even sit next to each other but there was always an unspoken barrier between us that neither of us crossed. That was what made me feel safe enough to even spend time alone with him in his room to start with.

To my discomfort, this guy chose to breach my personal space that day. He started with a careless touch here and an imposed caress there. I didn’t say anything at first because I thought he had too much to drink. What I started doing was avoiding his touch. It was my subtle way of telling him that I didn’t like that. When that didn’t work I finally told him, Stop touching me. I don’t like that.” “Why not? You are beautiful and I have feelings for you,” he declared.

I thought he was joking but he wasn’t. He went on and on about how he had tried to control himself and failed. I politely turned down all his advances and his love proposal. That was when things took a drastic turn down the lane to hell. I tried to leave but he wouldn’t let me. This guy pinned me down to restrain me.

While I was wiggling out of his hold, he tried to reach his remote with one hand so he would increase the volume of his home theater. I took advantage of the opportunity and freed myself from his grip. Unfortunately, he got to me before I got to the door.

I screamed my lungs out but nobody heard me. I pleaded with him to let me go, but he still held on. “Please, if you stop this I will accept your proposal,” I cried. Everything I said fell on deaf ears. In the struggle, my dress got torn. Luckily, I wore leggings under the dress so I wasn’t completely bare before him. This gave me hope to keep fighting.

That was the most difficult battle I had to fight in my life. We moved from his bed to the floor and ended up on the couch. He wouldn’t give up and I also wouldn’t yield. I was getting tired at a point and so was he. That was when he started begging me to kiss him. “Just one kiss and I will let you go.” I knew he was lying so I refused.

As expected he didn’t take no for an answer. So I pretended I was going to kiss him and then bit him hard on his arm and ran to the door. Before I could get to the trap door on the veranda, he caught up with me. This time around I didn’t relent. I held on to the door as if my life depended on it. While I clung to the door, I screamed with all my might.

Two of his neighbors came out; a female and a male. When he saw them, he stopped pulling me. With my half-torn dress, I ran out. He apologized to the neighbors and told them, “It’s nothing. We are just playing.” They told him to bring me my purse and phone so I would leave. He asked me to come and get it but I didn’t go so threw it out and locked himself in his room.

When I left there I was shaking. I didn’t even bother going back to my girlfriend’s house. This guy called a few hours after I got home bearing apologies. “A devil possessed me,” he pleaded, “I didn’t mean to do it,” I told him he was only apologizing because he didn’t succeed with his evil intentions. “How many helpless girls have you forced yourself on and gotten away with it?” He said he wasn’t that kind of person.

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I told him I recorded the phone call. “I will add it to my torn dress and the marks you left on me. You will hear from the police.” He opened his mouth and started begging but I ended the call and blocked him before he could finish a sentence. Later, he sent me a message on Facebook. I blocked him there too. He then sent me a message on WhatsApp. I rained curses on him and then blocked him there as well.

Occasionally we ran into each other in town. Whenever he saw me would immediately start asking for my forgiveness. “I understand that you don’t want to be my friend again, but please forgive me.” He said my curses haunt him every day.

I Didn’t Tell Anybody Because I Enjoyed It

It took me so many months before I felt I was in a place of healing. One day this guy sent me a message with an unknown number. It triggered me. For the sake of peace, I responded, “I forgive you. You can leave me alone now.” He got so emotional.

He doesn’t bother me anymore but I am still angry at him. Every time I remember that incident, I would be consumed with so much anger. I have prayed to God to heal me and take away my pain and anger but my heart is still as heavy as it was when that awful incident happened. What do I do? How do I move past this?

—Dee

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