I don’t know how to explain to people that I’ve been married for a year, but my husband and I are no longer living together. It’s not because we had a big fight or because someone cheated. We simply couldn’t afford to continue living as husband and wife.

The painful part is that all this started with our wedding.

Before we got married, I had a little money saved, and he also told me he had invested a huge part of his money that was yet to mature. I suggested that we do a simple ceremony and use whatever money remained to start our life together as a married couple.

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He said marriage happens once in a lifetime, so we should make it memorable. He wanted a beautiful wedding with our families and friends present. He talked about the venue, decorations, photography, and everything else we would need.

He said, “Don’t worry about the money. If you have to buy anything, go ahead. Once the investment matures, I’ll pay for everything.”

I trusted him, so I started making arrangements. The first thing I bought on credit was my wedding gown. I paid a deposit and promised to settle the balance after the wedding. Then came the decorations, catering, photography, and other expenses. We made all those arrangements together, but when it came to payments, he made me deal with the vendors because most of them were people a friend had recommended to me.

Every time a vendor asked for payment, I would call my husband. He always gave me the same assurance.

“Baby, tell them to relax. Right after the wedding, they’ll receive their payment.”

One evening, I sat down with a notebook and calculated what we had spent.

The amount frightened me. I showed him the figures. He looked at them critically and said, “Well, we can still manage.”

My mother expressed concern. She wanted to know why I was taking so many things on credit. I told her my husband had an investment that would cover the expenses. She advised me to be careful, but I assured her everything was under control.

Our wedding was beautiful. My friends kept telling me how fortunate I was to have such a wonderful wedding. I smiled in every picture.

Two days after the wedding, the vendors started calling. The caterer wanted her balance. The decorator sent messages. The photographer also wanted his remaining payment before delivering our pictures. I forwarded everything to my husband.

He said the investment hadn’t matured yet. I asked when it would mature. He said he was following up.

Another week passed. Then another. Some of the vendors became impatient. I began using my salary to settle some of the payments while waiting for my husband’s money. One evening, I asked him to show me the investment documents so we could find out exactly when the money would be released. That was when he started behaving strangely.

Whenever I brought up the investment, he changed the subject or became irritated. Eventually, after weeks of arguments, he confessed that there was no investment. I asked, “What do you mean there’s no investment?”

He said he had only told me that because he believed he would find money before the wedding. I cried that night. By the time I put all the outstanding payments together, I owed GH₵45,000. I showed him the list and asked how we were going to pay it.

He pulled a list from his pocket and showed it to me. “You see, I’m also owing people GH₵40,000.”

I nearly collapsed. I asked what he had used the money for. He mentioned personal loans, money he had borrowed for some expenses, and other financial commitments he had never told me about. When I asked how we were going to manage everything, he said, “You pay your debt, and I’ll pay mine.”

I couldn’t believe it. I reminded him that the GH₵45,000 wasn’t money I had borrowed to do something for myself. It was money I owed because of our wedding. He said he understood, but since he also had debts, there was nothing he could do.

That was how we began our marriage. Instead of planning our future, we spent every month calculating how much we could pay our creditors. Anytime my salary came, somebody was waiting for it. There were evenings when we sat together without talking because both of us were thinking about money. We started quarrelling over things that wouldn’t ordinarily have caused problems.

Our first Christmas as a married couple was miserable. While others were travelling and enjoying themselves, we were trying to figure out which creditor to pay next. We couldn’t even afford to buy chicken from the mortuary.

The worst part came when our rent was due. We didn’t have money to pay. We tried to negotiate for more time, but eventually, the landlord brought a prospective tenant to see our room while we were still there.

My husband suggested that we temporarily move into our respective parents’ homes until our finances improved. It was a sad moment for me, but I packed my things and returned to my parents’ house. He also went to stay with his parents.

We’ve been married for just over a year, and we now live in separate homes. My husband calls regularly. He says we should be patient, continue paying our debts, and eventually rent another place. But a lot has changed in me since I came to live here. A certain light has been switched off inside my heart.

Last week, he told me he had a plan to raise money so we could get a place together before the end of the year. I asked him where the money would come from. He said, “Don’t worry. Trust me.”

I became angry. “Trusting you was exactly how we ended up in this situation. What trust again?”

Sometimes, I look at my wedding ring and wonder what we were celebrating that day. My husband insists that marriage is for better or worse and that I shouldn’t abandon him because of financial difficulties.

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I’m still married to him, but I don’t feel the excitement I once had about building a future with him. Our families believe this is a temporary setback and keep encouraging us to be patient. I haven’t told them that I’m seriously considering ending the marriage.

We organised a beautiful wedding so we could begin our life together. One year later, the wedding is over, the money is gone, the debts are still there, and we don’t even have a home to share. I don’t think I want to return to this marriage again.

People keep telling me that money shouldn’t destroy a marriage. But how do I explain to them that it wasn’t just the money that destroyed mine? It was the lie that put us in debt and the broken trust that followed.

—Odo Yaa

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