So, after my last story was posted, one of the running comments was, “Do men really stop at an age?” Well, I guess from my story the answer was no. And today, I’m here to give you an update.

Last week Sunday, my father fought with my mom again. Over his side chick. Whatever that woman has done to him, only God can help revoke it, because I don’t even understand it myself. It was my younger brother who called to tell me the details of the quarrel this time around. As he narrated it, I felt pain, a real sting. All the comments I read here ran through my head. I imagined my brother’s face while he was telling me this ordeal. Of course, it wasn’t healthy in any way, so I prayed for discernment while he briefed me.

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And the thing is, I’m a married with a kid, and schooling. My plate is full with life already, and so I thought that I could let them be. But I was restless. By Monday, I’m sure I must have walked around my room a thousand times, pondering over whether I should call my father’s side chick. I didn’t know if it was the right decision, but at that point, it felt like the right thing to do.

So, I called. And we talked. Well, I say “talked,” because I tried to talk to her like one woman to another. I didn’t even finish explaining why I called when she started raining insults on me. She rained insults on my mother’s family. She said my mother herself was not woman enough, that was why my father had to look elsewhere. She insulted myself, my grandparents, even the man she was dating. Everybody got a share. Don’t worry, I made Mama proud too. The little insults I could remember at that point, I gave it back to her. I don’t know who won that bout of insult fighting, but I’m pretty sure I must have won. What I didn’t know was that she was recording me. She sent it to my dad.

After that whole incident, I called my dad and tried to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him. I told him plainly I wasn’t happy with what was going on. I asked him, what would happen if my husband was treating me the way he has been treating my mom? Would he like it if his son-in-law treated his daughter that way? My father couldn’t even look me in the eyes, or answer the question properly. He just said I shouldn’t have called the lady, that it was not my fight, and a lot of other things I can’t remember now.

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I even warned him. I told him to tell his girlfriend to stop watching my WhatsApp status regularly. She is like clockwork; she is always amongst the first ten people to watch my status.

That was it. That’s where we are.

Maybe he will end his affair with her, maybe not. All I know is, I need to get my mother to stop worrying about a man like my father. I really hope that at some point, she really gets to understand that Daddy is not the trophy.

—Mina

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