Three months after marriage, my husband misplaced his wedding ring under a bizarre circumstance. To date, if I think of the story he told me about his missing ring, my heart boils. I realized one morning that he wasn’t wearing his ring so I asked why and he said, “I left it on the cistern last night when I was bathing.” I went to the bathroom, looked on the cistern and it wasn’t there. I told him, “Your ring is not on the cistern.” 

He rushed in there and came back wearing this fake surprise on his face. he said, “I placed it on the cistern oooo.” I asked why he removed it and he said, “I’ve had some rashes at the potion where the ring covers and it’s been itching me for so long so last night when I was going to bath, I removed the ring and placed it on the cistern so I could use the sponge to clean that portion very well. I forgot and left it there.” I asked him, “So why is it not there?”

He went back into the bathroom and back some minutes later. He asked, “Don’t you think it might have fallen into the WC? If it did, then it might have been flashed.” I stood there watching his face as he kept reciting one excuse after the other. He said, “I will replace it very soon.” Three months later he hadn’t replaced it. I asked and his excuse was he hadn’t gotten money to buy a new one.

Two years later, my husband wasn’t wearing his ring. Within those two years, he managed to get a nineteen-year-old girl pregnant. The girl’s parents walked into our house one day with the news. I only smiled. I didn’t hear the end of that issue but I later learned he paid the child’s parents off and also paid for the abortion. Before that pregnancy, I’d fought three different women on the phone who were his side chicks. One even had the gut to tell me, “That’s why your husband said you’re a witch.”

So I was already tired when the little girl’s pregnancy came out.

One day, I decided there’s no pride in wearing the ring of a serial cheat and a man who doesn’t appreciate the value of his own vows. I took my ring off and asked him for a divorce. I thought he was going to fight it or plead with me to consider. He calmly said, “No problem, it that will make you happy then so be it.” I was stunned! “Ow, so all this while you were waiting for me to bring a divorce up?”

We are Catholics. The catholic church doesn’t grant a divorce. They only grant separation. We were granted separation to work our differences out. We’ve already been separated for over a year. Nothing has changed. He still keeps chasing whatever wears a skirt and has big boobs. I’m not even worried because I’m not going back. Soon, I’ll start the court process and get the divorce I’ve always wanted. 

—Barbie, Ghana    

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My husband was a widower when I met him. According to him, he married the love of his life when he was only twenty-seven. They married for only a year when the woman died. She died through childbirth. The child also didn’t survive. Two weeks after she was born, she died. That left him very lonely and heartbroken for a very long time. Eight years later, he met me. I asked him what took him so long to settle down again and he said, “I was waiting for you to show up so the question is “What took you so long to show up?”

That got my heart burning out fragrance like a perfume pot.

A little over a year later, we got married. He wedded the first wife and didn’t want to go through that stress again so we settled for traditional marriage and had it blessed the following Sunday in church.

But there was something about the ring he bought me. Yes, it was pure gold but it didn’t look shiny like all new rings do. It felt like a slightly used ring but I didn’t ask any questions. I decided to send it to those people who polish rings. I told him and he asked why. I told him, “I’ve had this ring for less than a year and its glossiness is already gone. I want them to polish it up so it can brighten up a little.”

READ ALSO: Why I Removed My Ring: Not All That Glitters is Gold

He said, “That ring isn’t new that’s why it looks dim. It’s for my ex-wife. She left it in the drawer when she was going to the hospital to deliver. I kept it all this while knowing one day I will find someone worthy to wear it again.” I asked, “So you mean you gave me your dead wife’s ring to wear? Why didn’t we discuss this before?”

He went on talking and talking about how he loved his wife and how he had come to love me and thought it wise that I should wear the same ring as his ex-wife. I didn’t buy that explanation. It made me angrier that he didn’t talk to me about it before. “What if the ghost of his ex-wife comes haunting me for her ring? Or what if her ghost isn’t pleased that he’s marrying another wife?” That looked like a spooky drama and it got me scared.

So that day, I removed the ring and gave it back to him. “I don’t want to wear a dead woman’s ring and I can’t replace her if that’s what you want me to. Kindly take it away. Whenever you’re ready, bring me new rings and I will wear them proudly for you.”

He didn’t say much but he didn’t look pleased either. 

For so long he didn’t buy me any ring so I bought some for myself.

—Esther, Kenya

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