Before he started touching me, I told him, “I can be very loud. I hope your neighbours won’t hear us.” In his own words, he told me, “Here, everyone minds their business. I don’t think they’ll care.”
It’s not intentional, the way I moan during shuperu. I respond to the rhythm and soul of the action. When I’m hit where it tickles, the sound comes out naturally and it’s usually loud. I try to control myself often but I fail.
When he set off and I started making noise, he spoke softly into my ears, “That’s too loud. Can you tone it down? My next-door neighbour might hear us.” I didn’t have the voice to answer him. He kept going and I kept moaning loudly. He picked up a pillow and placed it on my head and started pressing it. He wanted to drown the noise but I was suffering. I nearly collapsed.
The next time when it happened again, he pushed cloth into my mouth and pushed it far into my throat. I was choking. I used the remaining strength in me to push him down. I didn’t continue. She screamed at me, “Why can’t you keep quiet? Don’t you know everyone can hear us?” I answered, “The problem is not me. It’s where you live. If you can’t stand the noise then let’s not do it again.”
We went on break for about two months. He finally succeeded in begging me to give him one more chance. I made a promise to tone the noise down but I couldn’t. He clasped my mouth with his hand and in the process blocked my nose. I couldn’t breathe. I was signalling him to stop but he didn’t see my struggle. When I finally overpowered him, I dressed up and left his place.
Nothing will make me go to his house again and nothing will make me do it with him again. He doesn’t respect my feelings and has no respect for what he does to me. I didn’t ask him to rent a place where the wall between two rooms is thinner than a sheet of paper. So to cut issues short, no shuperu and no visiting him again.
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But that also means I’m causing an injury to the relationship. For some time now, he doesn’t call me. When I text him, it takes forever for him to answer. I live with my parents so he’s not able to visit. When I suggest we should go out and have fun, he tells me he’s not a fan of outdoor outings. I don’t want to lose him this way but I can’t also allow him to kill me because of shuperu so now it’s like we are there but we are not there.
Is he moving on? Should I move on before he moves on? Because clearly, something has to change and he’s not ready to change and I’m not able to control it.
—Lizzy
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My dear move on because if don’t he will kill you.Even though its not intentional.
The relation lacks communication, if you talk it out then u might come to an agreement that will favour both parties, like lodge a hotel or go on vacation somewhere privy……I dont knw if i’m the only one noticing this but dont you think its time we commend people like maameafua, george, quami, lordecarius etc they are real relationship therapist, keep the good work rollin much love from a brother in naija
I honestly think, for a fair great advice, you should have touch on one two experiences with any of your previous boyfriends, thus if he isn’t your first.
Now, certain things seems part & parcel of some people. But that can’t be the case forever. Per your story, your moans is an extreme one and if you don’t find a way to tame it, guys may have to be relocating often to environs just to contain you in terms of loud moaning. Trust me, you cannot remain this noisy during shuperu into marriage cos even your hubby will get mad at the excess sound sometimes.
I agree, you can’t die because of sex. You both need a common ground which is COMMUNICATION. This communication has to come with understanding that will help you both to adjust.
You can make use of hotel/guesthouse sometimes too.
But hey, a security or safety minded hotel manager won’t sit hearing those noise and won’t come knocking on your door or probably ask that you end your stay. Also, I think there’s a law in Ghana that frowns on excessive moaning/sex noise that disturbs other neighbours, they can easily sue you & your boyfriend if they know the law
Clearly, you need to work on yourself first.
Best of luck.
My dear I think u have to work on your issue. Do u want your boyfriend or future husband to rent or build in the bush? Why shd u be heard by everyone when u are doing the do?
Every guy will not be comfortable with this loud tin of yours. Whiles u work on it, u guys can play loud music or increase the volume of the Tv set to avoid being heard. Pls work on yourself.