He came into my life when I was still healing from a broken relationship. We met at a party organized for students who had just completed their final exams. I am a teacher so I was there as a chaperone. One of my colleagues brought him to me and said, “Tina, meet Ernest, my best friend. He would like to get to know you.” I gave them both a warm smile. Ernest looked good and I liked him instantly. Even though we had just been introduced, my mind strayed to Ernest and me doing couple things. Then I shook my head vigorously and discarded the thought. We spent the rest of the party chatting and laughing about experiences we both relate to as teachers.

A week after our meeting, my colleague approached me, “Hi Tina, Ernest said he forgot to take your number the last time you met. Can I give it to him?” I nodded, “Yes, that’s fine with me.” Ernest called me later in the day and things just took off from there. We spoke deep into the night. We didn’t even want to say goodbye. The connection I felt for him was stronger than anything I had ever felt. I spoke to him as freely as I would speak to an old friend. As time passed, we built a solid friendship. One which factored trust. Because of this, it felt right to give him a chance when he proposed that we study each other for marriage. He knew I had been through a relationship that didn’t work so he assured me; “You have nothing to fear when it comes to me. I will take good care of your heart and do right by you.”

We were together for a year but in that little space, I got pregnant three times for him. The first one that happened, we both agreed that it was too soon in the relationship to have a baby so we made a mutual decision to get rid of it. When the second one came, I felt we could keep it but he didn’t agree. He said, “I want to give you a good life someday. And we can’t have that life if we have this baby now. Let’s terminate it before it terminates our dreams.” What he said made sense to me so we undid that one too. As for the third one, I was determined to keep it. But Ernest was sweet-tongued and skilled in the art of persuasion. Before I realized it, that one too was gone.

While all this was going on, there was a Ponzi scheme people were reaping from. Ernest was part of it, and he convinced me to join in. I didn’t have any money at hand so I took a loan and signed up. Unfortunately for me, the scheme crashed just when I became a member. I lost my cash through that but I took it as one of those things in life. The next thing I realized this guy was into was sports betting. When I complained he said, “Tina, we are both teachers so you understand how little we earn. I am knee-deep in debt. You also know that I have two children who spend more than half of my income. This sports betting occasionally wins me some cash. The only way I am going to stop this is if I get some financial breakthrough. Something big enough to make our lives comfortable. Do you understand?”

I understood him, and I wanted to help him. So I went about looking for a solution to his financial problems. Some friends pointed me in a particular direction. They said there was a place we could go for the breakthrough we so desperately wanted. I took Ernest to the place, and we were asked to pay GHC2000 for consultation. We didn’t have the money to pay so once again Ernest used his powers of persuasion and got me to take a loan from a local loan shark. The interest on this money was 50% compound interest and I had less than 4 months to repay it. The day I went for the money, he asked me to send him half of it to settle his first child’s school fees. I should have listened to my instincts and said no, but I was a fool in love. I believed everything I was doing was for our future. It didn’t occur to me to be wary of someone who has two kids with two different women.

Anyway, we set off to the place of our breakthrough with half of the consultation fee. They turned us away and told us to come back with the full amount. There was no money left anywhere, so I just focused on paying back the loan instead. Two months before the due date, the loan shark started sending me reminders about the loan. That was also the time Ernest chose to start ignoring me. He ignored my calls and refused to answer my text messages. He had never done anything like that so I became worried. I spoke to my colleague, the guy who introduced us, about his change in behaviour and he promised to talk to him.

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I was there one day when Ernest called me. He wanted us to take a break. From the way he was speaking, I deduced he was leaving me because I didn’t have what he was looking for. He wanted money, and I wasn’t a gold mine. I asked him about the loan he made me take, and he said I should give him time. I didn’t have time so I sold something valuable, to pay the principal amount I took from the loan shark. Later, I learned that Ernest was dating someone else. This person he is with now has money. I asked him, “You asked for a break knowing very well that you are not coming back? After three abortions and loans, this is what you tell me?”

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I am not even able to work correctly, because the loan shark comes to my workplace to harass me. Whenever I ask Ernest to pay the money he tells me he helped me to pay my rent once so we are even. How is that even a thing? We have accrued a debt of GHC9000 from the loan, and the money he gave me for my rent was GHC700. How can we be even?  I’m not pained that he left. The human heart is resilient, so in no time I will heal. All I need is for him to pay back the money he asked me to take for him. I know he will see this so I am leaving him a message. Ernest, if you refuse to pay my money don’t blame me if I resort to drastic measures to retrieve the money. You know where I come from, and you know what they say about my people. So don’t force my hand.

—Tina

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