When I was growing up, I heard all sorts of strange stories about twins. In some communities, twins were seen as bad luck even among witches. There were tales of twins being offered as sacrifices to deities. Some of these were just stories, others I witnessed firsthand. Identical twins, I learned, can be difficult to have a relationship with. Some even expect a man to marry both because they can’t bear to be apart. Those stories gave me goosebumps, in a terrible way.

So when I realized my friendship with Joan was starting to turn into something more, I coiled myself up in a corner. There were a number of what-ifs, a number of what-thens. I didn’t want to find myself in that situation, but my love for her was stronger, so I thought, “What was the worst thing that could happen?” I proposed to her, and she gave me a yes.

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It didn’t take away my fear, so I told her. I asked her to explain what the situation was going to be like. “Is your sister dating? Are you attached to your sister?” She told me there was nothing to worry about. “We are not exactly addicted to each other. We have and live separate lives, and we try to mind our own business. “Is it just that, or is there more? She laughed at my question while I kept a straight face.

Honestly, we barely talked about her twin sister. I asked questions about her, I knew her, but it just stayed at that. I didn’t get too close. I didn’t intend on becoming her best friend. Everything I know about her, my girlfriend told me. On some occasions, they dress up together; sometimes they end each other’s sentences. All these aren’t issues; it happens.

After our first anniversary as dating couples, I asked her to marry me. She felt like home. She brought me a kind of peace I hadn’t felt in years. When we got married, there was almost nothing wrong until our honeymoon phase was over. Her twin sister had become part and parcel of our lives. First, it was part, but she is in our entire life more than a third wheel. Everything I heard and feared, it was happening.

Joan is in Ho and I am in Accra, so everything about our marriage for now is virtual more than it is physical. I spoke to her on the phone when I wanted to hear her voice. When I wanted to see her face, I called her on a video call. When I wanted to read her words, I sent her a message. Sometimes she travels home to me. During this period, I put everything in place to savour it more than anything. I call the cleaners to come, deep clean everything in the house, the laundry is done, I make large meals in wait for the arrival of my queen so she doesn’t have to worry about doing anything when she comes. That way, her attention is on me, we can talk, walk and do everything to make up for the lost time.

When I travel to her end, it is more like that too.

One day, when she came to Accra and we were getting ready to get dirty, a call came through and she left me on my knees. Before I could call her attention to what we were doing, she was screaming on the phone telling her sister “I am already in AccraOoo.” Me too? I was left unsatisfied and holding on to my Johnson. Later that night, I expected a show, but before I knew it, she was dressing up.

“Why are you going out?”

“Joana is taking me out.”

“What about me?”

She smiled and said that she would treat me later. Treat me? I am not sick. I am not bedridden. I am your husband and we have been distant for over two months and we are newlyweds. I didn’t want to sound like the man who is trying to put a wedge between twins, so I held off all the things I wanted to say.

That night, I spent half my night scrolling on the internet because she didn’t return home. She went home to her twin sister. I was the one left troubled and sad. The voices that were warning me not to propose were singing in my ears that day.

That week passed without me having any real enjoyment time with my wife, so I figured if I went to her instead, she wouldn’t leave me hanging like she did last time. I left work early on Wednesday. The plan was to spend the rest of the week and the weekend with her. I didn’t tell her. I wanted it to be a surprise. Luckily for me, she had already returned from work by the time I got there. We bonded while we ate and unpacked all the things I had brought on my journey. Before I closed my eyes and opened them after a short nap, my wife was already on a video call with her sister. She was telling her about her day. They were laughing about something only they knew. Calling each other names only they understood.

Sometimes I feel like they’re gossiping about me, and I do not like it at all. I feel like an outsider. It feels as though my role as her husband has no place in her life. Even in my presence, she chose to talk to her twin sister. It is weird. It is weird to be with the two of them. They have this cryptic language they speak, one only they understand. I’ve noticed it even with their family. Even they don’t understand what they’re saying when the twins switch languages.

That whole week I had planned in my head didn’t exactly turn out how I wanted, but I did have a conversation with her. Joan doesn’t see it as an issue, that she’s always on the phone with her sister. She thinks I don’t understand. But there is nothing to understand. These are issues we discussed at length before I proposed. I laid out my fears before you, and you reassured me. But what I’m experiencing now isn’t different from what you said. I was firm and articulate.

It turned into an exchange of words. But I left justified.

Is it not weird? It is weird that her twin sister has no issue dressing in front of me, walking around almost naked. I am afraid this will escalate into something more serious and mysterious. I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes I catch myself staring at the wall, thinking if I made the biggest mistake of my life. I love her, but I am starting to feel like a stranger in my marriage. And the worst part? She doesn’t even see it.

I Left Him Because He Didn’t Help In The Kitchen

If you have experienced twins before, if you are a twin yourself, or if you know someone who is, please help me out. I do not want to be caught in a situation my ancestors would be ashamed of. How do I tell my wife that these things are different? That I am not trying to cut her off from her family, but we are newlyweds, and I am getting frustrated.

—Tee

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