She’s forty-six. I’m twenty-nine. Naturally, we are ages apart and you don’t expect any love affair to grow between us but we allowed love to fester until we are where we are today.

I was sent to her house to fix a domestic problem for her. I was the third person to be sent there. According to her, the first two people who came around didn’t see the problem or they saw it but didn’t see why it should be a problem. I went there. I spoke to her at length. She took me to the corners of her house that the problem affected. She said, “Because I’m a woman, they don’t take me seriously. Is that how you guys work?”

I saw the extent of the issue and told her I would come the following day to work on it. The next morning when I reached there, she served me breakfast. “This is for you. So you take your time and do a good job.”

She was around me throughout the whole process. She asked questions and I answered. Questions about the work. Questions about my life; how long I’d been in the job and why I wasn’t married at my age. I spent about four hours at her place. She was with me through it all. She was carrying my tools. She was running errands for me. She was a great help.

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When I was leaving, she thanked me and told me to come around anytime I was in the vicinity. I fell in love with her personality so I kept in touch. At first, I talked to her with reverence, like praying to a superior. And then she encouraged me to drop those formalities and reverence. I called her aunt. She said, “I have a name and aunt isn’t part of it. Call me Rose. Just that. No prefix or suffix.”

So Rose and I became talking mates. I went to her house one afternoon and she served lunch. I went another day and she gave me champagne I’d never tasted in my life. I started thinking of her differently until one day she told me she was in love with me; “I’m not saying I should be the one and the only one. I don’t know who you’re with but I won’t be a problem. You’re a man. Just be a man in my life too.”

So I became that guy in her life. She has fantasies she couldn’t fulfil in her marriage. Oh, I didn’t tell you? She’s a divorcee with two children. They are both adults now and in school. She talks about her marriage and how she was caged. She found that freedom with me, wings that made her fly. We go to good places together. She pays. She’s kind and adventurous. My kind of woman but the age gap between us won’t allow us to be great.

I have a girlfriend, Adwoa. I told Rose about my girlfriend. All she said was, “I hope she doesn’t take up all the spaces and push me out.” “Never!” I responded.

Adwoa is the most inquisitive woman I’ve ever dated. Someway somehow, she got to know about Rose. I told her she was an aunt. A distant aunt. I don’t know but anytime Rose would call, Adwoa would be there. She picked up the suspicion and acted on it. She caught me red-handed. It was graphic. I couldn’t deny it so I confessed to her. She asked me, “What does she do for you that I don’t?” The answer that came to my head was “A lot” but I couldn’t voice it out.

She left me. A three-year relationship was going down the drain just like that. I apologized. I promised to leave Rose for her but she didn’t listen to me. For a whole month, I was begging her to come back. I wasn’t happy. I couldn’t even relate well with Rose.

Finally Adwoa told me, “Bring evidence. I want to be there when you have that conversation with her. It could be a phone call. It should be on a loudspeaker. Tell her you’re leaving because of me. I want to hear it. After that, you’ll give me your phone’s password and I will give you mine. Nothing to hide going forward.”

It’s been two weeks but I haven’t been able to do what she asked me to do. I don’t want to lose Adwoa but Rose is also difficult to lose. To have a woman be this kind to you and ask for nothing in return is a bliss you can’t easily do away with.

To open your mouth to say I love you, Is kind of weird

I know this isn’t a platform to give bad advice but today, I’m asking for one. I want to keep both women in my life. Rose has her place and Adwoa also has a place in my life. I need both places to run. It’s obvious I can’t marry Rose but I would like to keep her for a while. Adwoa and I are at a place where the next step is marriage. I can’t lose her. Rose doesn’t have a problem but Adwoa is the problem here. How do I go about these two? Say I want to eat my cake and still have it. Is it too much to do?

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—Hugo

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