The woman I love has three children. She’s still beautiful for a woman who has three children. I love her. We’ve been dating for one year now.
I took her home and my parents loved her. They expressed their love and acceptance openly to her and that made her feel welcomed. Once she was away, my parents started asking questions about her and I told them everything including the fact that she has three children.
My mom screamed, “No, you won’t marry her.” My Dad continued, “If you want to take care of kids, your brother and sister are still in school. We can leave them for you to continue from there.”
She calls my parents and they are very nice towards her. She visits our home and my parents give her a first-class reception but once she is gone, they gather around me and say, “Don’t get it twisted. We won’t allow you to marry a problem.”
My mind hasn’t changed about her but I feel my parents are not being fair to her. Apart from that, they are also making it difficult for me to let her go. What excuse do I give her as the reason I don’t want her? What do I tell her to convince her that it’s not me but my parents?
She even sends my parents gifts and they accept the gifts wholeheartedly and bless her but once she’s off the picture, they laugh at me and tell me to forget it.
I don’t know how to handle a situation like this. My woman wants us to start the preparation towards marriage. She knows all is set. She blames me when I tell her to give me some time. What should I do to resolve this situation?
—Aaron
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Being truthful is the only way out. You lying won’t make things clear and easy for you both. Stop wasting her time and yours as well, communication is the key.
Don’t think you can succeed where two or three men have failed. Be advised. Your parents are not fools. It is easier for a man to be killed by a step-son that a stranger. Leave that relationship and move on.
Beauty is always the first attraction, but then comes character, the basic requirement for good marriage. How did she end up with 3 children? Are they from different men? Was she dumped by someone? Has she been married b4? The answers to these questions – and of course, your feelings for her – will give you an indication of her worth as a potential wife. As for your parents, ask them; if the lady was their daughter, is that how they would want someone to treat her?
Tell her the truth please. Your parents don’t want her to know they are the ones who don’t want her and you also don’t want her to say that you wasted her time. Tell her your parents said they won’t agree so that she’ll know that do to with her life. She thinks your parents like and that’s quite unfortunate. If not for anything at all, she deserves the truth please.
Marrying a woman with three children is not a bad idea. But not counting the cost well before doing it ultimately wrecks 5 lives! Marrying a single woman is complicated enough. So one having 1, 2 then 3 children definitely complicates things. But if you can take the time to count the cost well, then you are good to go.