My white wedding is scheduled for the 27th of June this year, but right now, it does not look like it is coming on anytime soon. The delay is not from external forces. It is my fiancé dragging his feet over issues only God knows why.

Before he came to see my family for the list, we fought. He would tell me his family was coming on Saturday, then on Friday he would call to ask me to postpone because his mother was not feeling well, or his uncle, who is supposed to lead the family, had another engagement to attend. They kept going round in circles until they finally came.

After that day, I breathed a sigh of relief because I thought the hard part was over. I believed we could now move into planning and begin our forever on a beautiful note.

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP CHANNEL TO RECEIVE ALL STORIES IN YOUR INBOX

In my church, it is mandatory for the man’s family to meet the church leaders. It is so they know this is truly his family and that they are not strangers on the wedding day. My family has already met with the church leaders and has been supportive from day one, but his side has refused to meet them and has given no support. Throughout the preparation for the marriage, his family has not come through financially, emotionally, or even physically. It is as if they are reluctant, in every sense.

Both families were supposed to meet my church leaders on a designated day, but he showed up alone. Sometimes his mother calls me, but she has never once asked how preparations are going. His uncle, who came for the marriage list, never calls me or even his nephew to check on anything. Is that not how it is supposed to be done? Are families not usually interested in their children getting married? Or am I the one getting it wrong? Have things changed and nobody thought to update me?

When I speak to my fiancé, he says, “I have spoken to them, they will come and see your church people,” but they are yet to show up.

What confuses me the most is that my fiancé is a family man. He always puts his family first. I have seen him ignore his own needs because someone in his family needed something. He can leave me in the middle of the night to pick up an aunt who is stranded somewhere. He serves them diligently. So I am worried about that is happening now.

He has even stood in for others when collecting marriage lists for relatives. But now that it is his own marriage, they have left him to face everything alone. He is not pushing them, and I am the one chasing everyone, as if I am marrying myself.

I have started doubting whether his family supports our union or not. My parents have reached out to them through my fiancé. They are also waiting to hear something better. If not, they have said they will support whatever decision I take.

There has been no premarital counseling and no joint preparation from his side. As for postponing the date, that is inevitable because the church requires a mandatory three months of counseling, which we have not even started.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

 

But beyond postponing, I am now asking myself a more difficult question. Should I call the wedding off entirely?

I have given my fiancé time to address this with his family, but nothing has changed. And I am worried about what this means for my future with him.

Am I seeing this situation clearly, or is there something I am missing? Should I postpone and give him more time, or is this already enough to walk away?

—Freda

This story you just read was sent to us by someone just like you. We know you have a story too. Email it to us at [email protected]. You can also drop your number and we will call you so you tell us your story.

#SB<>