The Only Thing I Don’t Like About My Husband Is That He’s Too Handsome

The only thing I don’t like about my husband is the fact that he’s too handsome. Too handsome on our wedding day the pastor noticed it and said, “A man like your husband will attract a lot of ladies in his web if he’s not rooted in God. May God live in your marriage.” I screamed the amen in my heart because I knew what he was talking about and I had firsthand experience of it. My friends called my wedding “Beauty and the Beast story.” I was the beast. I’m not ugly. Far from that but they said that just to draw the attention to the handsomeness of my husband.

I trusted him so I allowed him to roam free, keeping who he wants to keep as a friend and who he wanted to keep as an acquaintance but I never stopped drawing his attention when a woman was getting too close for comfort. I did it respectfully, without a fight and without bitterness. When he had an explanation, he gave it to me and most often I trusted his explanations. In the end, I was the one he married and that settled all the scores and doubts if there were any.

We live in an estate. Right in front of our house is a lawn and then a road before another house that faces our house directly. There’s a lady in that house who is currently causing all the headaches in our marriage. From all indications, she likes my husband and she doesn’t even try to hide it from me. Her attitude smells like, “I’m coming for him and you can’t stop me so deal with it.”

She doesn’t talk to me but talks to my husband. She’ll see me and pass me by and the next second talk to my husband as though they’ve been friends since the creation of time.

She’s the kind of woman who will laugh and tap you while talking to you. She’ll stand in the middle of the road, talk and laugh and be touchy with my husband. I could be looking at them through the window. She doesn’t hold back. She doesn’t stand far from him. She gets close enough so she can tap him on the shoulder, on the arms, on the chest and wherever her hand would reach while talking to him.

I told my husband, “Maybe you haven’t noticed it but I have. I have noticed because I have eyes, loud intuition and I understand the nuances behind a woman’s behavior. I don’t like how Asantewa behaves around you. I don’t like how she’s constantly touching you while talking to you. She’s too close for comfort and I don’t believe she means well. I’m not saying don’t talk to her but don’t let other people start talking. It’s a small estate. Gossip travels very fast.”

He asked if I was jealous and I answered, “Yes, I’m jealous and I won’t hide it but this jealousy comes from a tangible reason. I’m a woman. I understand how women operate when they like something.” He laughed it off and did nothing about it.

In the evening, Asa would come and sit in front of her house, looking at our place, hoping my husband will see her and come out so they talk. Often, my husband picks the bait and he goes out for them to talk.

One evening, my husband went out to see her when she came out to sit in front of her house. I followed my husband. I sat next to him while facing her. She sat there like a tree without the wind. Not a single word was exchanged. She went inside early and didn’t come out again. I told my husband, “You see she couldn’t talk?” He responded, “But how could she talk? You’re not her friend.” I answered, “She can’t keep a married man as a friend. There are a lot of single men around here. She can keep all of them as friends.”

A neighbour was doing her baby’s naming ceremony and invited everyone in the estate. I overheard her asking my husband what preparations he was doing towards that and what gift he was sending. She asked my husband to suggest something for her because she couldn’t choose a gift.

At the naming ceremony, I didn’t go early. My husband went first. When I got there, she was sitting next to my husband while another guy was sitting on the right side of my husband. They all saw me coming and the guy got up to give me his seat, I signalled him to sit there while I looked for another seat behind them. I was looking at them. She was bubbly and all over him as usual. I was feeling embarrassed but they didn’t see anything wrong. When we were going back, I said, “It looks like you found your soul mate late. Too bad for you.”

READ ALSO: She Was Having Problems In Her Marriage So She Came For My Husband

Again, he labelled me as a jealous headless woman who can’t differentiate between a platonic relationship and a romantic one. We argued. I told him I wasn’t shy of being jealous and it didn’t hurt me that he thought I was jealous. He screamed, “I’ll stop talking to her so you don’t kill yourself. What sort of witchcraft is that? I can’t talk to a neighbour because I’m married?”

I’ve never thought of going through my husband’s phone but that evening I felt the need to. I did it while he was sleeping. Yes, they were chatting. There had been calls too. The interesting thing about their chat history was that it had only one message from her and it was a smiley. The rest had been deleted. To me, it meant only one thing, he didn’t want me to know they’d been talking because I may overreact.

My husband believes they are neighbors who talk to each other and there’s nothing else to worry about. To me, there’s everything to worry about because if it crawls like a snake and hisses like a snake, then you can’t call it a lizard.

Currently, my husband is very intentional about the way he uses this lady. He knows I’m bothered about their relationship so whenever we have a misunderstanding and we are not talking, he sits in front of the house and talks to Asantewa across from the street. He would go and sit in front of her house and the lady would do what she does best, laugh and tap him at places her hands could reach, just to get me jealous.

I don’t want to sit and watch bad things happen in my marriage because of her. I would like to prevent it so I’m thinking when our rent expires, which it will this year, we’ll relocate to another place where I won’t get to see all these annoying things.

We Agreed To Be Friends With Benefit | Silent Beads

If truly, they are just friends and I’m getting hurt about it, then it’s better I don’t see it. It’s better I don’t see her sitting in front of her house looking into mine, hoping my husband would come out and talk to her. It annoys me and embarrasses me at the same time. Am I making the right decisions? Be honest with your submissions because I’m going to rely heavily on what the majority says here.

—Nora