Whenever I went to visit my friend, I would see her around. Sometimes she was doing her laundry, sometimes she was just outside. Whenever we crossed paths, we would have a conversation, and when I was leaving, I would let her know. That was all there was between us. I didn’t have her contact, and she didn’t have mine either.

Then one day, I received a call from her. “I took your number from your friend. We were having a conversation before you had to leave, and I was hoping we could continue from there,” she said.

From that point, we started talking regularly. One conversation led to another, and before long, I found myself liking her. Eventually, I decided to tell her how I felt.

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I went to visit my said friend again and ended up spending the night at her end, and we talked and chatted till we clearly were yawning and dosing off.  She fell asleep before I did. Just as I was drifting off, I heard what sounded like a car engine revving. The strange thing was that it wasn’t coming from outside. I turned to look. It was her.

Her mouth was slightly open, and this unbelievable noise was coming from somewhere deep inside her. At first, I covered my ears with my hands, but how long could that possibly work? Even then, I could still hear her. I grabbed a pillow and moved to the living room.

The heat and mosquitoes immediately welcomed me. While I was busy clapping mosquitoes out of the air and using my shirt as a fan, I even tried covering my ears with my legs just to get a little sleep before dawn. Nothing worked. I stayed awake thinking about the economy, most especially the Kasapreko shares I bought and how rich I’d become if it blows.

She snores badly. No, let me be honest. She snores very badly.

A sleepless man is a moody man, so when she woke up and found me looking miserable, she asked what was wrong. I told her I wasn’t a morning person and that I usually didn’t talk much when I had just woken up.

But I couldn’t keep that explanation going forever. When I got home, I called her and told her the truth.

“Adowa, I couldn’t sleep. Your snoring is serious.”

I wasn’t blaming her. In fact, I know it’s not something she’s doing on purpose. The problem is that I honestly don’t know what to do with this information. I like her, and I don’t want her to think I was just playing games or looking for an excuse to back out. At the same time, I know myself well enough to admit that I cannot function without sleep, and I genuinely don’t know if I can live with that level of snoring.

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So now I’m confused. Are we going to become day lovers who only enjoy each other’s company when the sun is up? Are we going to sleep in separate rooms for the rest of our lives? Is there some arrangement people make in situations like this?

I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I like her, but her snoring and I are already in a very serious disagreement.

—Nelson

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