They say if it’s genuine, then it will last. That was what I believed. When I met Millicent, we were still in high school. She had taken a book of mine from a mutual friend and would only give it back to the owner. I had no choice but to go for it. I was the shy type when approaching women, but I still am. However, I mustered the courage to talk to her. That was the first time we met. I liked her at first sight. I tried to ignore the feelings but they only grew stronger with time.

I thought to myself, “She is beautiful and curvy.” When I looked at myself compared to her, I felt she was way out of my league. Plus, I was broke. So I just accepted that I didn’t stand a chance at winning her heart. Without shooting my shot, I settled myself in the friend zone. Nonetheless, we got to know each other, and the spark just ignited.

As time went on, we grew fond of each other. We were always attached to the hips. Unless vacations. Although vacations always separated us, we were not completely apart. We spent endless hours talking on the phone. It was all casual and platonic until I realized I was in love with her. It was pure what we had. I was naive but I knew what we felt was real.

One day I gathered courage and I professed my love to her. She accepted it immediately. I couldn’t believe it. “Can you say that again so I know I am not dreaming?” She laughed and things flowed easily from there. School resumed for our final term in SHS. Whispers of our relationship spread. We became the most popular and favourite couple on campus. I felt I was the luckiest guy on the planet. We both enjoyed every minute of the relationship until we completed high school.

After high school, we were still together. However, I woke up one day and couldn’t reach her. I didn’t know where she lived. Months passed but I couldn’t reach her. There were other girls trying to get my attention but I held out hope that I would meet Millicent again. You can imagine how excited I was when she called me out of nowhere. “I am sorry for the long silence,” she apologized, “my phone broke. I had to wait to get a new one to contact you.” I didn’t care where she went. All that mattered was that we were back together.

After about a year of dating, she visited me for the first time. We took a stroll along the beach and talked for hours. We had an amazing time together. After she left, the relationship became more serious.

The first problem we faced was spiritual marriage. It took a lot of prayers before she received deliverance. After that, another challenge was thrown at us. She was infected with a skin condition. We tried everything to resolve it to no avail. Only to find out that it was a spiritual attack. This ailment persisted for four years. Through it all, I stood by her.

When she felt she would lose her mind, I encouraged her not to lose hope. “Someone recommended this remedy. Let’s try it and see,” I would suggest. Because I was trying to help her, I faced a lot of spiritual attacks. I didn’t even tell her about most of them. I saw it as the price I had to pay for helping the woman I love.

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God was on our side; we eventually found someone who helped eradicate the ailment, and she was finally free. By this time, we were five years into our relationship, and that was when we had sex for the first time. Trust me, I was her first. Then came her mother’s troubles with the way she maltreated her. Millicent was reduced to nothing but a maid in her own home. All attempts to get her out of the home proved futile. I tried to get her jobs in other towns so she would move but it didn’t work out.

At one point, her mother even tried to push her to well-to-do-men for marriage. Regardless, I didn’t give up on her. I came through for her whenever I could. I was barely surviving, considering that I had to put my tertiary education on hold so I could hustle and make money. Things were bad. I had to do some odd jobs for us to get by.

Two years ago, I realized she was becoming someone I could not recognize anymore. I would call my girlfriend late at night only to find her on another call. We fought a couple of times because of it, but she never changed.

At one point, I was so frustrated that I found myself another woman. I thought I could move on from Millicent by being with her, however, after our first night together I regretted my decision. I went running back to Millicent and confessed what I did. She also told me she visited the guy I got furious over because he promised her a job, but nothing sexual happened between them. The way she narrated the entire thing didn’t sit well with me, but I had to accept it because I also messed up.

We made up and continued with our relationship, but we kept having problems with her late-night calls. Last year, with the help of her uncle, she was able to go back to school and get a certificate in medicine counter assistance.

During her time in school, we found out that she was two weeks pregnant. Honestly, I was happy, but it was soon cut short when we assessed our financial situation. We couldn’t afford a baby. So we had to make the difficult choice to get rid of the pregnancy. I still bear the guilt, and so does she. We promised we’d at least get a child when we both started working since I became jobless along the line.

Shortly after school, she got a job. I still remember the night she called to tell me she’d be needing a CV and cover letter by morning. I made sure I sent her the soft copy that same night. Little did I know that job was going to be the beginning of our end.

Two months into the job, she changed completely. She always appeared too busy or she’d be on a late-night call. We started fighting again, and I couldn’t bring myself to understand why someone who had been so good would change this much. The last time we fought she screamed at me, “Go and look for money and let me have my peace of mind.” There was another time she told me, “I have been seeing better men than you. I am just not sure if they are good men.” All these insensitive comments aside, she once mentioned another man’s name while we were making love. When I tried to address it, she got defensive and we argued.

When I finally had enough, I broke up with her. She accepted it gladly. Out of pain, I blocked and deleted all her numbers from my phone. I remember how with teary eyes, I asked myself how my woman of ten years would suddenly change at the worst time in my life when everything was going wrong.

She’s a good girl, I know. She made so many sacrifices for me, so why the sudden change? I informed her aunt about our breakup. She advised us to get back together and we did, but we ended up breaking up again. One day I gathered the courage to ask her why the sudden change. “I changed because I have been diagnosed with fibroid. And it’s all your fault. If we hadn’t gotten rid of our baby, all of this wouldn’t have happened.”

She gave me an ultimatum. “If you want me back then come and perform my marriage rites. It’s either that or you get me pregnant.” I wasn’t in the position for any of those things. I asked her to give me time to secure a job first but she wouldn’t budge. She said she is turning twenty-nine this year so she doesn’t have any time to waste.

She Wants Us To Get Married But I’m Scared

I understand her so I have stopped fighting for her. It’s painful, but I must stay strong, especially when everything in my life seems to be going wrong. She’s a good woman, and I believe she’ll find a better partner. I pray she discovers peace and fulfilment. As for me, I’m piecing together my life, hoping that one day I’ll look back and feel proud of myself for having risen from these ashes.

—Fabio

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