My entire life, I have dated men I love relentlessly. I lay my heart down for them in surrender. No matter how much I try, I am unable to hold back on my love. I usually give my all without considering that I could get hurt. Of course, it always ended in tears.
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This is what happens, when I love a man wholeheartedly, they get complacent and don’t value me. Something that’s supposed to be a partnership becomes a one-sided affair, one where the man acts as if he is the prize I have to keep chasing. When this happens, I don’t talk. I just quietly walk away without telling them why.
After all that roller coaster ride, I find myself in a relationship with a man who is crazy about me. It’s a long-distance relationship but he has shown me in many ways that I am the woman at the center of his heart. He provides all my needs even though I never asked him to. His name is Godsway.
He’s everything I’ve been praying to God for. He is God-fearing, spiritually alert, caring, and effortlessly good to me. I should be happy that I have him, but the truth is, I don’t love him. I try to focus on his positive sides, in an attempt to coax the love, but my heart hasn’t thawed yet. Sometimes, it even feels like I don’t have any feelings for him at all.
Despite my lack of romantic feelings for him, I hold him in high regard. I was drawn to his spirituality; that’s what I admire most about him. I am wondering if that’s why I can’t bring myself to fall in love with him. Maybe I revere him too much to entertain carnal affection for him. Also, I am not proud to admit this but I don’t think he is handsome. Could that be the reason I am finding it hard to love him?
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Now, I am asking myself if I am destined to marry someone who loves me more than I love him. Maybe when we get married and start living together, the love will be nurtured.
Is this something that can happen easily? I am confused about staying or walking away because he is already talking about marriage. I’m not able to respond enthusiastically because of how I feel. Do you think things will get better after marriage?
—Karen
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How do you feel when you spend time with him in person?
Look in to that, it might help you reach a decision.
My advice to you is to leave him and let him find that special someone meant for him, if you marry him, you’ll cheat on him and he will suffer for it dearly. You already mentioned one of the things and reason why you can’t marry him. He is not handsome enough. There’s someone out there for everyone.
Ephesians 5:25 NIV
[25] Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her….
Ephesians 5:22 NIV
[22] Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.
The man loves you. The question is, can you submit to him? That’s what you need to answer.
Or maybe you are more wise than the Creator. Or you believe modern psychology and western butterflies flying in your stomach kind of love. But if you are like me, God’s word is authoritative and final. No buts. No negotiations. If the Bible says it, then it’s settled for me.