Less than a year into my relationship with George, I had to relocate from our town to Accra for work. Things were tough. I couldn’t even afford to rent my own place. I had to live with friends while I worked. George knew my situation but he still made demands of me. If I didn’t have the money to meet his needs, he would block me until he felt like unblocking me again.

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When I was ready to pay for my own place, he said he had a friend in Accra who could help me get a place. He introduced me to Sam and we got along well. Whenever we had a chance to talk, Sam would ask me, “Are you sure George is your boyfriend?” No matter how many times I said yes, he didn’t seem to believe me. He said he knew his friend very well.

Whenever I visited home and asked to pass by George’s place to spend time with him, he would tell me he wasn’t home, or that he had some people visiting so the timing wasn’t right.

After the COVID-19 lockdown, he also relocated to Accra and moved in with his friend, Sam. I had still not rented my place yet and since I wasn’t comfortable visiting him at his friend’s place, he came to spend a night with me at my friend’s place.

A few months down the line, Sam called me and said, “I have been trying to stay out of this but my conscience is judging me.”

He sounded worried. I encouraged him to speak freely. That was when he told me, “George is married with two kids. I am letting you know now because he plans to move his family to live with him here in Accra.”

I was shocked. Why would a married man date me and pretend to be single and ask me for money when I am clearly struggling? I confronted George looking for answers but he blocked me. When he unblocked me, I also blocked him.

It took two years before we spoke again. He apologized for blocking me. He said his friend lied to me and that he didn’t have a family. Then he asked me for another chance. I hadn’t gotten over him yet. So I got back together with him.

Since then, all we have are problems. For instance, he asked me for a loan of GHS2,000 and promised to pay it back within six months with interest. He never paid. Another time, I lent him GHS1,000 to help him move to his own place. He didn’t pay that one either. Before that, he had a police case that I helped him with. He promised he would pay me back everything I spent but I am still waiting for that money.

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Because of the distance between us and my busy work schedule, I usually visit every two weeks or once a month. Last year in October, he told me he had gotten another woman pregnant and that she had to move in with him until she delivered. I thought it was a prank but he was serious. The pregnant lady stayed with him from November until March, before she went to her village to give birth. She delivered a baby girl in June this year.

All this time, he was still demanding money from me. Despite how heartbroken I felt by his actions, sometimes I gave him money. To this day, he still hasn’t paid back a dime.

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Just recently, he asked me for more money and I told him I didn’t have anything to spare. He got angry and shouted, “If you don’t want to give me money, then I don’t need you in my life anymore.” He went on to say I shouldn’t call or visit him again. “I will return all the items you left at my place. Then I will block you.”

He hasn’t blocked me yet, but he doesn’t take my calls. I’ve decided not to chase him or call with other numbers. But my problem is, should I let go of all the money I’ve invested in him, or try to get it back? He says there’s no way he will marry his baby mama, but I’m completely at sea here.

—Horshie

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