After university, I struggled a little bit. Life was hard after national service because there was no job to do. I applied for NABCO and got rejected. That was the lowest point in my adult life. All my friends who applied got it but I couldn’t get in. One day, I met Eyram coming from the NABCO office and I told her my story. This was a girl who lived in the same neighbourhood as me. We used to attend the same church until she changed the church. She asked me, “What are you doing here?” I responded, “I applied for NABCO but it looks like they are not going to pick me.” She said, “I know a man here who can help. Give me your details and I will give it to him.”

I called her every day and asked about the progress of my application. She kept telling me to have patience. I was calling her often so we naturally switched our conversation. We went into matters of love and how we were dealing with it. She brought up the topic so it gave me the impression that she might have some feelings for me. I told her I was single and searching. I told her how my last relationship ended and she also told me her story. We both sounded like we’ve been hurt at the same part of our hearts and if we could bring that part together, we’ll connect and mend.

From that day, I started thinking of her differently. I was in love, I must say. When I called, I didn’t even enquire about the progress of my application again. It was all about us until one evening when she returned from work I asked her out; “If you’re not doing anything, why don’t we take a stroll along the beach? At least, the sound of the waves would keep us company.” She didn’t want to. She said she was tired but when I pressed further, she agreed to go with me. It was all fun until I held her hand. She pulled her hand off my hand and gave me this awkward look. She asked me, “What are you trying to do?” I answered, “Nothing. I just want to feel your hand.” 

She snapped; “It’s that the reason you brought me here? When you were forcing me to come to the beach with you, was that what you had in mind? To hold my hand and do silly things with me? Do I look like a girl who will do that with you?” I was shocked. If she didn’t get angry when I held her hand, I would have gone ahead and proposed to her but because she snapped, everything in my head dissipated.  She left the beach and picked a taxi home all by herself. I was left embarrassed and stranded. When I got home that evening, I thought it wise to apologize to her through a Whatsapp message; “Eyram, I’m deeply sorry for what happened. I didn’t have any bad intentions. I know you’re hurt and I can only say sorry.” 

She read the message and didn’t respond. Early the next morning, I woke up to messages from five of my friends. They were all talking about the same thing; “So what were you thinking when you took Eyram to the night beach? Charley you no force at all if what she’s talking about is true.” I called all of them one after the other and asked what she told them. According to Eyram, I took her to the beach and tried to force myself on her. I held her hand and pushed for a kiss. I told my guys, “I swear it never happened. I only held her hand and she got angry. I didn’t make a move toward her. It was only her hand that I tried to hold.” 

They sent me a screenshot of the apology I rendered to her. Kofi asked, “If you held her hand then why did you apologize? The girl bore waaa so find a way to apologize properly to her.” I was angry about the lies. No matter what I said, my friends wouldn’t believe me so I got frustrated. I called Eyram on different occasions trying to set the record straight with her. She never picked up my calls but she went around trending my apology. I went to her house and she banged her door. Asking me to leave before she screams. Wow…

I had to live with her lies and the shame she caused me. Everyone heard about it. Everyone had their version. There was nothing I could do to change anything. I could manage being unemployed but walking around with such guilt took a heavy toll on me. I left town for a while. I think at some point when she couldn’t see me around, she started feeling guilty, thinking I left town because of what happened. Two months later she sent me a voice note. She said, “I’m making this voice note so you can send it to everyone who didn’t believe you. I’m sorry about how far I went with things. I was in a very bad place. I’m sorry.” 

I responded, “No need to. I’m fine.”

At that time, my father had been successful in securing a visa for me to travel to go and live with him. My mind was on the travel arrangements than her apology. I didn’t even ask her why she was apologizing. Not long afterwards, I left town. 

The first Facebook post I made with my location, she came into my inbox; “Hey, when did you leave that you didn’t say goodbye? At least say hi to me. Or you’re still fighting with me?” I read the messages but didn’t respond. It was of no use to me. Since then, any post I make on Facebook, she’ll either comment under it or come into my inbox to try and pick a conversation. She kept trying so I softened my resolve and decided to talk to her. She would ask about life in Canada and how to get here. I gave her all the information she wanted. Later she asked about scholarship opportunities and I gave her the links I know of. We are good again, without the shadows of what happened that night.

READ ALSO: I Ignored All The Red Flags And Went Into A Marriage That Nearly Broke Me Into Pieces

Not too long ago she said, “I’m sorry to bring this up but that evening when you tried to hold my hand, what was in your mind? Be honest with me. It’s past and gone so there’s no need to lie about it.” I told her, “It wasn’t my intention to kiss you as you might have thought. Yes, I had the intention to propose. If you accepted it, then maybe I would have tried to kiss you.” She responded, “Awww, I’m even embarrassed the way things turned out. Forgive me, I was just paranoid.” 

We talked a lot about other things. The flavour of our conversation was changing and I could feel it. She called on a video one day and said, “So you want to tell me your feeling for me is dead because of what happened? Honestly, if your feeling for me was true, it wouldn’t have suffered such an untimely death. Tell me I’m lying?” We stayed on the video call for several minutes. She was trying hard to revive an old flame. In my head, I was like, “Is it because I’m no longer in Ghana that’s why she’s being nice all of a sudden? She wants me now because I’m in abroad?” 

Honestly, I don’t like her again. I can afford to laugh and talk with her but the anger and shame she made me go through are still fresh. I think of what people told me afterwards and I’m angry all over again. She wants a relationship and I may give it to her but I have revenge on my mind. I want to lead her on and cause her the same pain she caused me. On the other hand, I feel like she’s rather leading me on to get whatever she wants from me and then throw me out. A girl like her can’t be trusted. Her sudden rush back into my life is questionable but I still want to do to her what she did to me.

My friends think it’s a waste of time. Do you also think the same way? 

–Fab

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