When we started dating, she told me she was saving herself for marriage and wouldn’t engage in any form of intimacy until we were married. I’m a patient man and have always come to the table with patience and hope to see everything grow. I said yes to her decision not to want anything physical.

She wouldn’t come to my house unless we stayed outside and talked. It took months for me to convince her to enter my room before she did. I didn’t do anything she said she wouldn’t do. Then, a few months later, she started demanding things—money, “buy me this,” or “buy me that.” I didn’t have any issues with that. In love, you give to sustain it, so I tried to give as much as I could.

She’s twenty-eight, and I’m thirty. She said she would like to be married before thirty. The last time she asked for money, I told her, “I’m saving everything I have so we can marry before you turn thirty.”

She was excited about it but still wanted me to give her what she requested. So I put a cap on how much I could spend on her: “I’m not going to spend more than GH₵300 on you in a month so I can save for marriage.”

She had a problem with that, asking if she should starve because I want to marry her. She told me to find a side business because a girl like her comes with financial needs.

Who is a girl like her?

She’s working in a shop at the mall, and she says what she earns isn’t enough to save. I’ve asked her to look for another job, but it seems she’s fine with what she has and is rather pushing me to do more than I should just to satisfy her needs.

I withdrew with the intention of leaving the relationship. A few weeks later, she came to my place and said, “So if I allow intimacy, will you be willing to give me more?” I said yes, testing what her reaction would be like. At that very moment, she allowed intimacy.

What Nobody Tells You About Divorce

Now I want out of the relationship completely. If she could give that away for money, then I wonder how many people she might have given it to while we were trying to save it until marriage. Would it be a drastic decision to leave because of that? Would I be right to leave based on this suspicion?

—Kobby

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