It was awkward the first time it happened. I didn’t know what to do, whether to stop or continue going. I slowed down to allow her to catch her breath. She signalled me to keep going So I kept going while she was on the phone talking as if nothing was happening.

She was on the phone when I gave out the last moan, signalling I’d reached. She was on the phone when I rolled over to the side of the bed. She was on the phone talking about a waakye seller whose daughter was rude to her. I was watching her stroking her pubic while smiling uncontrollably. I was there wishing those smiles were due to my good performance.

I didn’t talk about it because it was the first time. I thought it wasn’t going to happen again until it did. I whispered, “Please don’t pick up the call. Let’s finish.” She showed me the phone screen and said, “It’s my dad. It could be something important.”

When she started talking I stopped. I didn’t want the strokes to affect the way she was talking to her dad. You know, it was her father she was talking to. If nothing at all, she gave birth to a woman I could love. That alone deserves respect from me. I was in while she was answering questions from her dad. The call lasted for about five minutes. By the time she said bye, I’d gotten flaccid.

She asked, “Why did you stop? I was signalling you to continue so why did you stop?”

We had a conversation. She told me we shouldn’t allow calls to distract our beautiful moments. I told her, “That’s why you don’t have to pick them when they come.” She told me I could go on and it wouldn’t affect anything. “If it’s uncomfortable, I will tell you. It doesn’t affect anything.”

The man in me felt attacked. As in, all the ins and outs and speed don’t matter? The energy and sweat for nought? What is she saying?”

Nothing has changed. She keeps picking up calls during shuperu. She talks just fine as if nothing is going on. She smiles. She wiggles. She talks about things that don’t matter while I’m in and doing my thing. It makes me question myself. “Am I a man enough?” “Does she take me seriously or I miss the point while going in and out?”

What Would You Do For A Friend Who Has 24 Hours To Live?

She says it’s alright but I doubt it. Has anybody experienced something of that sort before? A woman picks up calls while the action is going on. That’s not even the problem. The problem is how she handles the calls as if nothing is happening to her. As if the fire I’m putting in her isn’t firing.

–Kojo

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